Book Club

You, Me, ADHD Online Book Club

You, Me, ADHD Book Club!

  It’s with great excitement that I bring you a new “book club” as a new feature of this ADHD Roller Coaster blog. The book is the one I know best:  Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? This book club is free, fun, and illuminating. It fills an immense need for individuals and couples …

You, Me, and ADHD Online Book Club

The “You, Me, and ADHD” Book Club—And Giveaway Contest!

As promised…next Sunday, June 7! I’m excited to bring you the first post in the “You, Me, and ADHD” online book-club. Then and every two weeks thereafter, the club will discuss my first book, Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? And I welcome you to join in. (More information on book formats and availability …

You, Me, ADHD Online Book Club

Introduction: “The You, Me, and ADHD” Online Book Club

  Have you wished for an Adult ADHD Relationships Support group—open to the public and on this blog?  Here it is! Welcome to the first post in the You, Me, and ADHD online book club: it is based on the book’s Introduction. Every two weeks, I will post an essay based on a subsequent chapter …

Adult ADHD Myths Vs. Facts

Welcome back to the You, Me, Adult ADHD book club! We begin by exploring important Adult ADHD Myths vs. Facts. The previous post focused on the book’s introduction. Now we enter Part I of the book’s three sections: “From the Tunnel of Love to the Roller Coaster: Could Your Partner Have ADHD?”  Chapter 1 is …

Chapter 2: Living With Undiagnosed Adult ADHD

Living with undiagnosed ADHD, in a loved one or in oneself, can feel like being lost in the fog—often on a roller coaster. In fact, after the term roller coaster, the word that people most typically use when telling me their stories is fog. I opened Chapter 2 of Is It You, Me, or Adult …

ADHD and self-regulation

Deconstruct Your ADHD Coaster

What does it mean to “deconstruct your ADHD roller coaster?”  It’s my way of explaining that ADHD manifests differently in the individuals who have it. Moreover, most adults diagnosed today carry years of negative misinterpretations of their challenges—and of the world. To begin forming more clear interpretations, we break it down into symptoms and the …

ADHD money roller coaster

ADHD Marriage and Money: Financial Loop De Loops

By Taylor J. Money issues are what drove me to the ADHD spouses support group, and what drove my husband to treatment. This season in our dual-AHDD marriage was long, and it was terrifying. It nearly drove us to divorce, twice. I’m so glad this chapter exists. But I may need to step aside a …

You, Me, ADHD Online Book Club

How Adult ADHD Can Affect Driving

By Taylor J. Adult ADHD can affect driving? Who knew?  My husband drove a 1979 Ford Bronco for most of our marriage. That is, until it caught fire in a Home Depot parking lot. He saved the burned-out shell of it so he could fix it up….someday. Before treatment, I concluded his tendency to get …

ADHD and Sex: Peaks and Valleys In the Bedroom

By Taylor J Now we arrive at Chapter 6: “Peaks and Valleys: ADHD in the Bedroom.”  That is, ADHD and sex. ADHD and Finances nearly destroyed our marriage. ADHD-fueled driving certainly gave us gray hair early in life. Sex, however, is not an area that has been a…. problem for us (thank you, Jesus!), in …

Chapter 7: More Mystifying Twists and Turns

  By Taylor J. If the core challenge of ADHD is self-regulation, then we must understand: There are a lot of things that anyone’s “self” has to regulate. They don’t all show up on symptom lists, either. Chapter 7 hit me right between the eyes, because it called out my favorite form of poor self-regulation: …

Chapter 8: Explaining The Inexplicable

By Taylor J. Chapter 8: Explaining the Inexplicable Now that we have a better grasp on what ADHD is—and the mystifying twists and turns it can bring to life and relationships—we turn to the other partner who needs support: the partner of the adult with ADHD. (Notice that Gina never uses the term “The non-ADHD Partner.” That is because …

Managing the Unmanageable: ADHD Relationship Roller Coaster’s Second Plunge

By Taylor J. It’s eerie, re-reading Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? after both my husband and I were diagnosed. Clearly, our relational patterns well fit the paradigm Gina presents here. Chapter 9 is the second chapter in the second section of the book. This section brought to light a subject never previously written …

The ADHD Roller Coaster’s Third Plunge

By Taylor J. I shut the bathroom door, sat on the floor, and sobbed. I’d just watched a mouse saunter through my disgusting kitchen. It didn’t even feel the need to run. Why should it? This well-trod path had a long history of bestowing tasty treats. No doubt the supply would remain plentiful. I was a horrible, …

Chapter 11: “Strategies for Right Now!”

By Taylor J. We arrive at Part 3 of the book. It is here we start getting equipped with strategies for making positive changes in our lives and relationships. This third section of the book is called Your Relationship and the Art of Roller Coaster Maintenance: Four Success Strategies. Chapter 11 opens the first Success Strategy: …

Chapter 12: Solving ADHD’s Double Whammy

By  Taylor J. My husband: “I don’t have ADHD. I can’t have ADHD. I’m a super-important, intelligent, successful, capable person who couldn’t possibly have ADHD.” Me: “Yes, you’re super-intelligent. Yes, you’re super-important. Yes, you’re definitely capable. Yes, I love you with all my heart, and would never, ever want to live without you. My love, …

Chapter 13: Psychological Denial of ADHD, or The FEAR Factor

  By Taylor J. Chapter 13 is the first chapter under the #2 Success Strategy: Dealing with Denial. As such, it covers the common psychological reasons behind denial of ADHD– that is, for either partner denying that there’s any real problem going on. (Or, if there is a problem, it most certainly is not ADHD.) Most …

Chapter 14: Adult ADHD & Brain-Based Denial

“Denial” of ADHD symptoms hurts everyone. But we compound our hurt when we wrongly attribute this denial in our ADHD partners to stubbornness or willfulness.  Sometimes, that is the case. Many times, however, “ADHD denial” springs from ADHD neurobiology itself. No one was talking about this “brain-based denial” in 2000-2008. Including most ADHD specialists, including couple …

Chapter 15: Reaching Through ADHD Denial In A Loved One

Understanding denial is one thing; reaching through ADHD denial in a loved one is quite another. In previous chapters,  we learned about what ADHD is, how it affects the brain, how it affects our relationship with our partner, and that our partner may genuinely not be able to see the problems… But….well…now what do we do? …

How Can Medication Help ADHD Relationships?

How can medication help ADHD relationships? It can help in reducing all the ADHD symptoms that challenge that individual in every aspect of life, including domestic life and in relationships. For many, it’s a true game-changer. In this post of the book club series, we discuss how ADHD can challenge relationships—and how can medication help …

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