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53 thoughts on “Contact”

  1. Dear Gina,

    I have read your book and I though you wrote it for me and my fiance’. Besides all the invaluable information, it gives me hope to know you are currently in a relationship with an ADHD partner and you are sane and happy.

    I just recently gave the engagement ring back to my partner because I realized we are going into a downward spiral and I was loosing my health. No matter what I do I cannot fix his problems and my help actually enables him to find new ones.

    Having that said I want to help my partner regardless if we will ever get married or even be together in the future.

    This is what I am looking for:

    1) We are currently shopping for insurance coverage for him but apparently nothing covers ADHD in adults to get therapy or medication? Am I correct? Could you suggest any plan or financial aid for us to get help?

    2) We are looking for support groups in the LA area. Do you know any? It would be great if they were free of charge.

    3) We are looking for a specialist in the LA area to help him get a correct diagnosis and hopefully figure out the right treatment for him. Any suggestion?

    I understand these are loaded questions but I would greatly appreciate your help. While I am trying to find him some help, his own business is going through bankruptcy, he is very closed to loosing his house and he lost me in the process. I am afraid if I don’t help him something terrible may happen.

    Thank you so much
    Pina

    1. Hi Pina,

      I’m glad that my book helped you and your friend. I’m also glad that you are taking care of yourself. I wish your partner all the best, and salute your kind heart for wanting to help him.

      I’ll try to answer your questions, below:

      1) We are currently shopping for insurance coverage for him but apparently nothing covers ADHD in adults to get therapy or medication? Am I correct? Could you suggest any plan or financial aid for us to get help?

      Answer: Actually, part of healthcare reform means that limitations can no longer be placed on mental healthcare covers (as if the brain were ever separate from the rest of the body!). So, actually, ADHD should be covered.

      Here is the website for California, of the Affordable Care Act. I’m sure there is a contact phone number there.

      http://www.coveredca.com/

      2) We are looking for support groups in the LA area. Do you know any? It would be great if they were free of charge.

      Answer: LA is very tough for ADHD awareness and expertise. I am planning a workshop there for 2015, because I think it must be very needed.

      Here is the page from the non-profit CHADD’s website, on resources in California. Since LA is very big, you can look for the various locations of volunteer support through CHADD and also find professionals, city by city: http://www.chadd.org/Support/Directory.aspx?state=279640006

      3) We are looking for a specialist in the LA area to help him get a correct diagnosis and hopefully figure out the right treatment for him. Any suggestion?

      Answer: Check the link above, which also includes all professionals in CHADD’s directory, for California. Please keep in mind: this directory does not represent an endorsement; these are PAID listings. But they can be an excellent place to start. If you attend one of the LA meetings of CHADD, you can also ask others for local referrals.

      I hope this helps!
      Gina Pera

    2. Pina, please do what I did, and urge your partner to get tested for Sleep Apnea. After using a CPAP machine, i discarded my medications and have been virtually symptom-free. To my astonishment, the symptoms of ADD and OSA (Obstructive Sleep Apnea) are virtually identical. Testing could change his life, and perhaps yours.

    3. Hi Jay,

      Thanks so much for thinking of us.

      I figured out the connection between ADHD and sleep apnea many years ago, before almost anyone was talking about it.

      But what I’ve learned is that….it’s complex. 🙂

      Sleep apnea alone can create cognitive fatigue — which can sort of look like ADHD.

      Sleep apnea accompanying ADHD can intensify ADHD symptoms — and a CPAP might help.

      But many people have gone through all that the “sleep specialists” can throw at them — CPAPs, surgeries to change jaw structure and remove soft throat tissue — and they still have ADHD.

      This is one of those areas where “medical fiefdoms” do not serve people with ADHD.

      At any rate, my husband doesn’t have sleep apnea. He was tested years ago. But I do believe his sleep quality improved a few years into taking stimulant medications.

      I’m happy you found help!
      g

  2. Thank you so much Gina.

    As always, you are amazingly helpful. I have just looked at the last chapter of your book and realised that there are definitely things I am doing that are not helping and I can improve. I am also taking things so incredibly personally. It’s hard to let go of the “sweep you off your feet” – “happily ever after” dream we all have for our marriage and accept the reality of accommodating and making changes and seeing people as not always perfect. I think this is my hardest thing to change. The fact that I wanted a ” perfect” marriage – although I know that can’t exist.

    Thank you for the link to your support group – I will definitely be visiting it. Sadly in Australia, our hardest thing is finding a decent specialist let alone a support group for partners. Most are children based. I tell everyone about you and your book (especially ADHD specialists who I’m sorry to say mostly haven’t heard of it – Incredible – isn’t it!!)

    Thanks again – I really appreciate you taking the time to respond.

    Regards
    Kim

    1. Hi Kim,

      Yes, I’m aware of the situation in Australia, especially this idea of adults who weren’t diagnosed in childhood receiving only Dexedrine (which hardly anyone in the U.S. takes, but a tiny minority find helpful).

      I’m trying to persuade a friend in Australia to write about the ridiculousness of this, so I can post it on my blog and we can “social media” the heck out of it. Wake up those decision-makers!!

      You know, even if you follow everything to the letter in my book, Kim, you can’t do this by yourself. Late-diagnosis can be tough, tough, tough. So many bad habits are established. And, some people with ADHD simply aren’t motivated to do something until the person who usually picks up the slack for them is gone.

      The point is, please don’t blame yourself if you’ve done all you can and still, life is pretty miserable.

      And, please take care of yourself. It has come to my attention lately that life is short, and we better make the most of it while we’re young and healthy enough to enjoy it. No one is going to give you permission to do that. You must take it.

      Good luck!
      g

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