“You Me A.D.D.” Has Legs!

Gina Pera

I sit at this desk, day after day and week after week, working hard on my next book (a professional guide for couples therapists treating ADHD-affected couples).

Talk about delayed gratification.

That’s why I’m encouraged to see that my first book (Is it You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?) is #1 today in Amazon’s ADHD category and #8 in counseling. Not bad for a title published in 2008.

That book took 8 years to write and edit, starting in late 1999. Keep in mind: There were very few titles on Adult ADHD then. And there were none that took a comprehensive approach to understanding ADHD, including when it is diagnosed later in life, its potential effect on the partners, and the evidence-based treatment strategies.

Gina Pera

Throughout so many years of work, I’d ask my husband, “Do you really think anyone will read it?”  Bless him, the answer was always “Of course! You’ll see.”  The man deserves a medal for listening to me moan and groan and dip into self-doubt.

One of the topics covered in the new book is the importance of helping adults with ADHD to build incremental rewards into their goals.

This is helpful not just for people with ADHD but for their partners—and everyone else.

Even Dr. Russell Barkley wrote in Taking Charge of Aduilt ADHD that he sometimes rewards himself one Hershey’s Kiss after completing a page of writing.  Yes, I know, I too imagine that I would just grab the entire bag.

That is a great book, by the way, full of down-to-earth strategies for getting real traction in your life.

So, this morning as I tangle with a chapter whose unwieldy parts are defying my executive function’s capacity to organize, it’s nice to have this bit of encouragement.



12 thoughts on ““You Me A.D.D.” Has Legs!”

  1. Hi Gina,

    I wanted to say thank you. I just got your book from Amazon and can tell already that it is going to be a great ADDitional help to me and hopefully my husband. He is not denying the ADD anymore, but is still being stubborn about participating in getting any sort of help or working on improving things ourselves. He is on the severe end of the spectrum. I commented here because although you wrote the book in 2008, it is just now gaining the attention that it deserves. I have known my husband is adult ADD for about the past five years thanks to a dear friend of mine who happens to be a counselor! She pointed me in the right direction after years of me knowing something was “not right” but not knowing what it really was. I began researching extensively, but honestly there was not a lot of information available and they did not talk about it as a spectrum disorder or talk about how symptoms from other conditons overlap. This past year I have learned more and gathered more information then in the past three!! Your book is also the first place that mentions any of the other medications besides Strattera and Adderal, and believe me, I researched! We tried Strattera for a short time and all it did was make him ill. So thank you again for your hard work, commitment and dedication to helping all of us who are living with this condition or living with someone with this condition. I look forward to reading the rest of the book and joining your website blogs. I know that having a support system is so very important too. It seems like a lot of the time family and friends of the ADD person are not the most helpful and tend instead to enable and cause more issues by reinforcing the dysfunctional mentality and behavior This is one issue I am working on resolving and want some insights into how to first tell about, and then explain his condition to his closest friends (that were part of the problem) and how they can help instead of hinder. Blessings and hugs to you and yours.

    1. Hi Paige,

      Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me. I greatly appreciate hearing from you.

      I am hard at work now on another book, this one for couples therapists treating ADHD-affected couples. And, I tell you, having a little encouragement right now is very important! It’s a long, hard slog.

      Yes, support is very important. You are welcome to join my free online support group. Send an e-mail to me, and I’ll send the information to you. Gina at ADHDRollercoaster.com


  2. Hi,
    Thanks, yes! That is a great idea, I didn’t think of it! What a hopeful idea too. I’ll see how it goes, and I’ll let you know! 🙂

    1. 🙂 It’s such a good idea we can wonder why she didn’t think of it herself!

  3. I so look forward to your next book! We are in couple’s counseling, and my attempts to talk about ADHD are not really addressed, it is not her area of expertise even though she is a really helpful, insightful therapist. From the looks of her bookshelf, I can see she is a reader! This book will be so helpful. I think this added information about ADHd could be a pretty big regrouping for couple’s therapists point of view. Thank you for educating the world on this huge subject.

    1. Hi Shelley,

      You are most welcome!

      I wish I could write the book fast enough to help you now.

      But you know what? Your therapist could learn a LOT from my book Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? It’s a lot cheaper than most clinicians’ guides and a whole lot more effective when it comes to Adult ADHD.

      It might be worth your while to buy a copy for her and ask her to read it as a condition of continuing therapy.


  4. My hope is that therapists read your book. My wife and I started therapy six years and only until recently did our treatment involve ADHD. Identifying the disorder earlier would have been very helpful.

    1. Hi Drew,

      I’ve met many therapists who have found my book very helpful. In fact, they were among the first lining up to have it signed at the CHADD conference shortly after publication. Compared to 14 years ago, when my husband and I were seeking help, therapists are much more on the ball vis a vis ADHD.

      Still, some are easily led astray by other books and are simply applying the old “systems model” to couples affected by ADHD, with the only addition being medication for the adult with ADHD. That’s not going to be helpful, in many cases, and can actually intensity conflict.

      That’s why I accepted a major publisher’s request for me to produce a professional guide for couples therapists treating ADHD-affected couples. It’s a lot of work for very little money. I’m working away while others with inferior information are peddling costly “teleseminars.” But Rome wasn’t built in a day!

      I appreciate your support.


  5. Your book walked into my life on its awesome legs and gave me more support, comfort, guidance and validation than nearly anything else I have encountered. It gave my partner with ADHD a true push forward. Thank you.

    1. Aw, thanks, Heather. I’m so glad to hear the book has helped you and your husband!

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