Finding Support: Adults with ADHD and Their Partners

Adult ADHD support

Hi Ms. Pera,

I just wanted to pop in and let you know that I have a copy of your new book that I just started reading over the weekend. I have heard so much about this book, and since I do have ADD (I prefer the ADD vs. ADHD) I thought perhaps I will see myself and/or my husband in this book.

I am also wondering if there is a way to get to the forums that are mentioned in the book, assuming that you have an online forum for discussion and help for either the person with ADD or their partner.

I would love to participate if that is an available option. Please let me know if there is a way to make this happen.

I will continue reading, and I hope to find solutions to my marital “issues” that both of us cause so that we can get off of our own rollercoaster and start to have a real marriage. Yeah, that would be really nice.

Thank you!

Hi Linda,

Congratulations! You have already cleared the biggest obstacles to calming the roller coaster. You’ve learned about ADHD, and you are willing to seek information sources and support.

Whether you call them support groups or discussion groups, one of the biggest benefits you’ll find at these gatherings is other people who “get it.” You won’t need to explain that ADHD is real or that ADHD has presented real challenges in your life. Hearing others’ stories will validate your experience. And, once you know that you aren’t alone, you can break through the isolation that might have prevented you from seeking solutions.

Seek Support But Self-Educate

A group can offer a great source of support and validation. But I do not recommend relying upon the group for your ADHD education.

In fact, you might encounter group members who are as confused are—or are operating on misinformation about ADHD.

That’s why it’s good to educate yourself on all aspects of ADHD separately.

I wrote my first book to be a one-stop shopping source for information about ADHD, its treatment strategies, the potential effect on couples, and more:  Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?  (The title was chosen before the umbrella term became ADHD.)

Finding Face-to-Face Groups

If you are seeking a face-to-face group, first check to see if there is a CHADD chapter in your area.

Just enter your zip code on CHADD’s Chapter Locator page to see a listing of chapters in your state. (Note: Some states do not have a chapter.) Remember that CHADD chapters are run entirely by volunteers. If there’s not a group in your area, please think about starting one!

PLEASE NOTE: CHADD membership also gives you access to CHADD’s online support groups.

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SF Bay Area Resident or Visitor?

If you live in the Bay Area, you are welcome to attend my free, open-to-the-public, drop-in groups:

1. Adults with ADHD

2. Partners (and Parents) of Adults with ADHD (suspended since COVID began)

To receive e-mail notices of the meetings, visit Silicon Valley Sign-Up Form.

My Online Group for the Partners of Adults with ADHD

ADHD Partner The platform is  (it works as Yahoogroups used to work):

  • You send an e-mail to the entire group and anyone can respond. The “conversation” is on your own time.
  • You send off your post and go about your business. Come back later to check responses.
  • You can receive individual e-mails or a daily digest, or you can read on the website.
  • I founded and moderate this wonderfully supportive group, with the help of many co-moderators whose partners (and often children) have ADHD. One of our veteran moderators has ADHD as well.
  • Please be sure to read thoroughly the instructions for applying to join the group.

I hope you find these resources helpful!

—Gina Pera
The original version of this post appeared September 15, 2008


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