Maybe we so often associate ADHD challenges with schoolwork, paperwork, and housework that we don’t often think of ADHD putting a kink in, um, bedroom fun. Or, that activity that we assume most people can do “in their sleep”: sleep.
Ah, but what you don’t know can hurt you. It can hurt your love life. And it can hurt your ability to get to bed on time, go to sleep, and stay asleep, not to mention leaving you prone to gasping for air (sleep apnea) or dancing the cucharacha with your restless legs all night.
I invite you to visit my blog on ADHD and Relationships to learn a bit more on those two subjects and, best of all, read the many insightful comments from readers that follow. (While you’re there, please sign up to follow this monthly blog so you’ll be notified of new posts.) I guarantee you’ll find some kindred spirits.
“Gina, sex is difficult for people with ADHD; it’s tough to stay focused!” says a female Facebook friend, responding to my query on this topic. Yes, it’s one of those areas, like sleep, where we often fail to connect the dots to ADHD symptoms. The truth is, ignorance about this critically important connection creates so much unnecessary hurt.
Left with no other rational explanation for intimate difficulties, partners sometimes blame themselves—or each other. In a blog post on Sex and ADHD at Jeff’s ADD Mind, the author first considers it as the “problem with no name” and finally “the problem that carries a lot of shame.” (continued, click here).
Being new to the area, my husband and I got lost on the way to our first adult ADHD discussion group in downtown San Francisco. Some heated bickering later (“You said to turn left!” and “I didn’t mean that left!”), we finally arrived and caught our breath. That’s when a worn-out looking man across the table said something that sticks with me, ten years later:
“I’ve blamed a lot of people in my life for my troubles, but when it comes down to it, I finally realize that I am my own worst enemy. For forty years, I’ve not only opposed what other people want me to do, I’ve opposed what I want to do.” (continue reading here)