Adult ADHD and Partner Support Groups

Support Groups for Adults with ADHD—And Their Partners

Are you looking for Adult ADHD and partner support?  For now, COVID has restricted the local Palo Alto meetings. In their place, I offer two “virtual” support-discussion groups:

  • Monthly Zoom group for the adults with ADHD – Sign up here
  • E-mail-based group for the partners of adults with ADHD. (We also welcome parents and siblings of adults with ADHD.) Sign up here

Both are free and open to the public.   Please note: It is not appropriate for mental-health professionals, coaches, therapists-in-training, and others to sit in on the meeting. I do not make exceptions.

More about each group below, along with my always-open virtual book club.

The Adult ADHD Group

Our meetings follow no format. Rather, think of it as a wide-ranging and supportive conversation among all in attendance. You might be surprised, but it works!

The “Partners Of” Group

ADHD Partner: This is hosted on groups.io platform. It is not a chat room or a discussion board. Rather, it is e-mail based, and I encourage you to use an anonymous e-mail address to protect privacy.

How does it work? It conforms to your schedule; send an e-mail and go about your business. Come back and read the responses.

Choose to receive individual e-mails or the daily and weekly digests—or read at the site. Search the archives for key topics.

Both Groups: Self-Education is Key

Group support works best when you self-educate on Adult ADHD, its potential effect on relationships and all aspects of life, and evidence-based treatment strategies.  In other words, turn to the group for validation and support—not for basic education in Adult ADHD and its treatment strategies.

Books and Course

Over 22 years in this field, I’ve created a body of work to support you in self-education.

  1. My first book was informed in part by years of leading these groups.  It will provide the solid foundation you need to start healing your life and your relationship:  Is it You, Me, or  Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder)
  2. My second (co-authored) book created the first clinical guide for Adult ADHD couple therapy based on the evidence of what works for Adult ADHD and for couple therapy: Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy: Clinical Interventions
  3. My new course provides what you should be finding in individual and couple therapy for ADHD — but so rarely can find. At an affordable price and with opportunities for peer support. For more info: Solving Your Adult ADHD Puzzle

Please note:  My first book was published in 2008—though all the information is “evergreen” and found nowhere else.  At that time, the public still knew ADHD as Attention Deficit Disorder.

Come Join Us!

Leading these groups for more 15 years  has been my immense pleasure.

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Seeing (and reading about) strangers of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds coming together for mutual support, strategy-sharing and much laughter is inspirational—and fun.

Come join us. It’s friendly and informal.

You, Me, and ADHD Online Book Club…

You, Me, and ADHD Online Book ClubFinally, I’ve created another free online resource:  the “You, Me, and ADHD” Book Club.  This is a collection of 16 essays, each based on having read a chapter in my first book. You are invited to read alone at home and share your perspectives in the comments section.

I am particularly proud of this series and the writers behind it.  Why? Because from the very beginning, I’ve never seen ADHD relationship issues as an issue of “ADHD vs. Non-ADHD”. In fact, I’ve often found that narrative harmful.

Why? Instead of paving the way toward solutions, the “ADHD vs. Non-ADHD” view sets up a false dichotomy and ready-made conflict. Instead of recognizing that poorly managed ADHD affects all of life—not just a person’s relationships—it implies that the only challenge is the “relationship dynamic.”

Instead of seeing each couple as unique, it over-simplifies their challenges in a way that’s more useful to marketing than the couples themselves.

ADHD is a highly variable syndrome. Moreover, it is only one aspect of personality. Yes, there are common challenges.  Let’s acknowledge them. But these people are not clones. And, neither are their partners.  Each couple is unique—and guess what? Some couples are dual-ADHD!

When ADHD adversely affects, in varying degrees, that adult’s education, employment, driving skills, temper, parenting consistency, substance use, sleep, health, and many other “domains of life,” that has an impact on the partner or spouse and the children. No amount of “couple communication” training is going to address these systemic challenges. Instead, these individuals and couples need solid and joint ADHD education, support, and evidence-based strategies.

…With Essays Written by Women in Dual-ADHD Marriages

That’s why I feel so fortunate to have recruited two friends familiar with the broad spectrum of potential ADHD challenges in life and relationships to write these essays:  Taylor J. (pseudonym) and Jaclyn Paul (who blogs at The ADHD Homestead).

Both women:

  • Are excellent, thoughtful writers
  • Were diagnosed with ADHD later in life
  • Are mothers to children diagnosed with ADHD
  • Are married to men with late-diagnosis ADHD

You can begin reading here:  Chapter 1: Adult ADHD Myths and Facts

I look forward to welcoming you!

—Gina Pera, founder and lead group moderator

12 thoughts on “Adult ADHD and Partner Support Groups”

  1. Hi Gina
    My husband is 59 and he was diagnosed when he was 55. What would you recommend reading first?

    Thank you in advance,

    Kira

    1. Hi Kira,

      I would start with “Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?”

      It’s very comprehensive, in explaining what ADHD is, what late-diagnosis “baggage” might look like, the potential effect on the partners of poorly managed ADHD, and the evidence-based treatment strategies. Plus a lot more. 🙂

      https://amzn.to/3kdB6Me

      I hope you find it helpful,
      Gina

    2. Hi gina, do you have any support groups for non adhd groups cause i have a bf who has adhd and i need someone to talk about it cause it can be frusating and annoying, i know he cant help it but it just draining sometimes.

    3. Hi Brittany,

      Yes, you commented on the post that details the info. Above.

      Please note: I never use the term “non-ADHD”. So if you were looking for that, that’s why you missed it.

      My group for the partners of adults with ADHD welcomes anyone who has a partner with ADHD — and that sometimes includes other people with ADHD. 🙂

      Cheers
      Gina

    1. Hi Gwnyneth,

      I’m working on it.

      Family illness and other COVID-related issues — plus my work — has meant I’ve had no extra time.

      Moreover, the online partners group has been swelling with applications. It’s a lot to manage.

      But look for them soon.

  2. Kidlet Who Cooks

    Gina, Hmmm, maybe because I was establishing contact via my laptop and not a mobile device that was the problem. I did get your responses in my yahoo email – sorry for so many of them! – and it looks like I’m now in the group. Thanks for your facilitating that. I’m looking forward to sharing stories and solutions with the other members.

    Jeannine aka Kidlet Who Cooks

  3. Kidlet Who Cooks

    Tried to join the yahoo group 3 day ago. Looks like membership process initially started. Never received the auto email application. Sent email to group addresses asking about this, but no response. Can’t start over – Join Now button no longer on page. Help!

    1. Hi there,

      Sorry that you had trouble. It seems that with the advent of more people receiving e-mail on mobile devices, the system has become more reliable.

      I’ll find your pending application and write to you directly.

      g

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