She had sought help from a string of mental-health professionals—for decades. Yet, again and again, they misdiagnosed her ADHD symptoms as depression and anxiety. For decades. She took medications for depression and anxiety. Life only got harder and harder.
I’ve met many women and men with this experience. If you love someone diagnosed and treated for “depression” or “anxiety” who does not seem to get better with treatment, you owe it to that person: Suggest the possibility of ADHD.
Through a mutual friend, I recently met a woman whose ADHD went misdiagnosed and medically mistreated until age 39. With predictable negative side effects. Fortunately, her friend is one of my book’s biggest fans—and most energetic ADHD evangelists. She shined a light on a brighter path for her friend.
Using the pen name Khanji, this woman agreed to share with ADHD Roller Coaster readers a short report of her life until ADHD was finally diagnosed and treated. Thank you, Khanji. I am so happy for you. After her story, I’ll offer a few points on this phenomenon.
Khanji’s Story
My aunt warned my mother against seeking an official diagnosis of ADHD for me, in 1985. I was 5 years old. She claims, as the Dean of Special Education at a prestigious university, that the ADHD diagnosis was an “educational death sentence.”
A child with ADHD, she went on, would carry that label from classroom to classroom, year by year, and be stuck in the corner with the rest of the “dumb, bad kids.” She and my mother feared for my lost potential.
I was evaluated for—and informally diagnosed with—what was then-called ADD at upon entering kindergarten. Instead of receiving medical treatment, however, I was taught subtle forms of cognitive-behavioral therapy—in ways I didn’t recognize until years later. In particular, they helped me learn how to be organized and focused, and to expend my energy in healthy ways.
I was placed in Gifted and Talented classes as a child and Advanced Placement in High School. The work was not difficult. Still, I often skated by with Cs and Ds from forgotten assignments or lost interest.
Age 12: My First Suicide Attempt
For most of my life since then, I’ve felt like I was wearing a mask—just waiting for it to be ripped away and the world to see me as a fraud. My initial diagnosis of depression came at 12, following my first suicide attempt. It was predicated by severe bullying. Talk therapy helped, along with support from my parents. But it didn’t solve the deeper problems.
In college, I experienced resurgences of depression and isolation. Another diagnosis arrived: Generalized Anxiety Disorder. While it felt good to be able to name the constant background static that was allegedly anxiety, it again wasn’t a solution. My physician prescribed Prozac, which I took for some time before discontinuing it due to an intolerable side effect.
Three years ago, several sizable life changes hit my husband and me at once. As a result, our marriage became very difficult. He has the hyperactive type of ADHD—and forgoes treatment. Our symptoms present in vastly different ways. Coupled with those “Whammies” from life, it put us on very rocky ground.
ADHD Misdiagnosed As Depression (Again)
We sought marriage counseling. Our therapist was amazing, helping to resolve many lingering issues from our 12 years of marriage and process our way through current challenges. She encouraged me to speak to my doctor about my depression. I began taking Celexa a few months ago.
Again, it wasn’t enough.
I felt as though I was failing. Constantly. Each day it was a struggle to just get out of bed.
At work, I could perform my duties and meet my deadlines—but barely. I would open a browser or word processor and stare blankly at the screen, forgetting my task. I would zone out in meetings and in conversations. Then I would return home at the end of the day, completely mentally and physically exhausted.
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Housework became an insurmountable challenge. A vague feeling of dread consumed my days.
Finally: Diagnosed with—and Treated For—ADHD
Recently, tremendous support came from a dear friend. She has ADHD herself and advocates for education and treatment. I contacted my doctor last week and began treatment. I was initially very hesitant. As a child of the 80s, I kept hearing echo in my brain the harsh rhetoric of “All these kids are medicated zombies”. But I also knew something had to give.
I came to my doctor ready to advocate for myself, having heard that many doctors are years behind the times when it comes to ADHD. I found my doctor the exception and we talked at length about opportunities for medication. My doctor prescribed Vyvanse, a stimulant medication.
I have been taking the Vyvanse for one week. It has been the best week of my entire life.
I didn’t realize how much of my life was missing until now. I laughed more on the first day than I had in months. And it was natural; I wasn’t “high.” I still feel like me, but a Better Me.
Hopefulness Has Replaced Dread
I feel as though the medication has unlocked doors in my mind to qualities I always possessed but were until now inaccessible. I have energy, motivation, a sense of humor, and a desire to show affection again. Hopefulness and an eagerness to experience the potential of each day has replaced feelings of dread.
If I could offer one piece of advice to someone considering diagnosis or treatment for ADHD, it would be this: Don’t wait. Moreover, if you, like me, have received diagnoses of other issues such as depression and anxiety, learn more about ADHD to see if it is a possibility. Then talk with your doctor or therapist to see if ADHD could be contributing to your symptoms.
—Thank you to Khanji for sharing your story.
This is a Serious Public-Health Crisis
I’d like to close with two important points. The first: This is a serious public-health crisis—and has been for decades. Endless headlines scream “ADHD is over-diagnosed!”. Yet, I’ve seen none warning about misdiagnoses and “treating” with medications that can intensify ADHD symptoms.
Just about everyone I meet with late-diagnosis ADHD has at some point been misdiagnosed with depression and anxiety. For many, the misdiagnosis stuck for their entire lives. Until they learned about ADHD.
In some ways, though, they are the lucky ones because at least they finally do get on the right path. I shudder to think of the millions still misdiagnosed. That goes double for those treated with inappropriate medications that risk making ADHD worse and causing weight gain, among other intolerable side effects.
In the past, I’ve shared poignant first-person essays from individuals diagnosed later in life:
- The Late ADHD Diagnosis of an American Girl
- One Man’s Story: Growing Up Undiagnosed ADHD
- “What do you wish you’d known earlier about ADHD?”
ADHD in Women Requires Expertise
The other points I’d like to make: Establishing a correct diagnosis in women, in particular, requires gender-specific knowledge. That’s the conclusion of this 2016 review, A Review of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Women and Girls: Uncovering This Hidden Diagnosis:
Accurate ADHD diagnosis in women and girls requires establishing a symptom history and an understanding of its gender-specific presentation. Coexisting anxiety and depression are prominent in female patients with ADHD; satisfactory academic achievement should not rule out an ADHD diagnosis.
Before even checking the authors, I suspected that one of my favorite ADHD experts, Patricia Quinn, MD, was part of the research team.
Yes! Dr. Quinn authored the paper with Madisha Madoo, MD. Check out an excerpt from her book (with frequent writing partner and another favorite expert of mine, Kathleen Nadeau, PhD) Understanding Girls with ADHD at this blog post: A Must-Read About Girls with ADHD)
I’ve done this work for 20 years for one reason: The toll created by our culture’s collective “ADHD Denialism” can take tragic proportions.
—Gina Pera
If you or someone you love has been diagnosed with depression or anxiety—but found little relief from treatment is—
here is my advice: Learn about ADHD and know that ADHD is often misdiagnosed as depression and anxiety.
Your comments welcome!
—Gina Pera
22 thoughts on “ADHD Misdiagnosed as Depression Until 39: “Best Week of My Life””
I have spent well over 30 years being treated with different antidepressants and anxiety medication. I quit taking everything about 15 years ago because I was sick of trying Jed after med with no relief. Diagnosed with depression, social anxiety disorder, chronic fatigue, etc over the years that’s what they’ve been trying to treat.
Then 9 months ago I got an inattentive type ADHD diagnosis and I thought wow! Maybe this is what’s been wrong my whole life! Since then I’ve been waiting for a psychiatrist appt to hopefully get the medication I need or would like to at least try. It was today. I tried as hard as I possibly could to advocate for my self, but instead was told I have to try Abilify & Trintellix to “show I trust him”. Really?? I just said I do not want anymore antidepressants or antipsychotics. I’ve had my fill with trying over a dozen.
But this dr basically bullied me into saying ok I guess…..I just don’t get it. Why can’t I try a stimulant medication? Why does no one listen?
Hi LJ,
OMG, that sounds like a BAD BOYFRIEND! Do this thing that doesn’t add up to “show you trust me.” Yikes. Creepy!
The horribly sad and infuriating truth is that many MDs have not the first clue about ADHD. None. Zippo.
The other thing is….maybe he doesn’t have a Schedule II license and is trying to cover?
I hope you can find someone else…or at least convince him of a short trial of ritalin or similar. IF he can prescribe it.
So sorry you are dealing with this.
g
Hi! I’m scheduled to be evaluated for add/adhd this Friday after many months of trying to find a provider to test with under my insurance. I am a 32 year old woman. I am married going on 7 years with two boys. I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety and prescribed an SSRI in March. Since then I have tried one other SSRI and both had given me awful side effects such as dizziness and tingling sensation followed by what I would describe as “brain zaps” sudden spouts of vertigo and buzziness.
I feel odd saying this but I would have never have guessed I would have adhd/add if it weren’t for TikTok. I was fed the false narrative growing up that adhd meant I would be hyperactive. But after seeing some other woman share their experiences I was shocked at much I related to them. Fast forward to now I’m thinking maybe the reason the SSRIs were such a problem was because I didn’t need them. I’m just a late diagnosed female with adhd not severe depression/anxiety. Any thoughts?
Hi Jessica,
My “thoughts” are exactly what led me to search for someone who had a similar experience to write such a post.
I’m sorry that you didn’t find out before. There’s been a LOT of information on Adult ADHD, including in females, online and in books for more than a decade.
Unfortunately, your being evaluated for ADHD might not end in satisfying answers. Not unless you have studied up on symptoms, have prepared a list of your challenges, and are fully ready to challenge any evaluating clinician who has many wrong ideas about ADHD.
Best to be pro-active.
Good luck!
Gina
This is quite an old post but I felt the need to comment regardless. Sometimes typing my thoughts to a stranger is easier than talking about it to my family.
I am a seventeen-year-old girl, and my parents think I am just being dramatic. School has never been one of my strong suits. Despite being labelled as ¨ gifted¨ near the end of elementary school, my grades do not show it.
I took advanced classes in middle school, and would often barely skirt by with B´ s and C´s. Early on in high school, things were better. My friends were my only source of happiness and I was desperate to stay in the same advanced classes that they did, and was able to get A ´ s in all my classes (just barely.)
Unfortunately, things are very bad for me now. I lack all motivation to do any of my school work. There are random times when I will feel the motivation to be productive, although it’s normally to do something that isn’t helpful to my grades. I feel like my life is slipping away from me and I don´t know what to do about it.
Most days, I spend my time staring blankly at my open computer or playing mindless little games (usually made for children) on my phone. It feels like I havent felt happy in years (even though I know thats not true) and wish I could disappear into nothingness.
I have tried to talk to my parents about it, but they are more of the ¨ tough love ¨ type. They think I am just complaining for attention, and am trying to make excuses for myself. An example of this is the fact that I lived with endometriosis for years, and told them every month that the pain I was feeling was not normal. It was excruciating and they told me I was just faking to get out of school. Thankfully, I finally convinced them to take me to a doctor to get properly diagnosed.
I know many people look down on self-diagnosing, but I cant help but feel like something is wrong with me. I’ve done thorough research, and I think I might have either depression or ADHD. For my birthday I asked if I could start going to therapy.
I’ve only been to one session so far, so obviously she hasnt diagnosed me with anything yet, and I was too nervous to ask her about it the first day. I just don´t know what to do until then. I´m currently not passing certain classes I need to graduate, and the end of the semester is rapidly approaching. My mind is in panic mode, but it’s still not enough to push me to do anything about it.
Dear Samira,
I’m glad you found my blog. Welcome. I appreciate your comment.
First, I created this blog in 2007 to become a repository of wisdom and shared experience, with posts and comments that just don’t become outdated. So I welcome comments at any time.
Now to your points:
1. I find your writing remarkably clear and insightful, especially for 17 years old.
2. Obviously, COVID is hitting many people with ADHD harder — they are out of their usual environments, in your case your friends and the school environment. ADHD can create big challenges with self-structuring. Many people with ADHD find they stay on track better when they are around other people doing the same thing, for example.
3. I had endometriosis years ago, so I sympathize with your pain — and the pain of your parents not appreciating the situation. People with ADHD can be seen as “dramatic”. They can have big emotions — and many of them. So, perhaps, if you have ADHD, that might explain some of that. Or, you weren’t being dramatic at all and your parents are simply ….what…non-sympathetic? Or, as you say, “tough love.” Or at least unaware of brain-based challenges such as ADHD and depression.
4. I’m not one of those people who “looks down at self-diagnosing.” For many people, it’s the only way they come to an accurate diagnosis. Certainly, that is the case for MANY people with ADHD. As this first-person story demonstrates.
5. Writing is a great way to find your voice — and even to “see what you think.” Good job. People with ADHD can have a hard time thinking things through in their head. They do better putting pen on paper (or typing on screen).
6. Therapy: Good for you, advocating for yourself and getting help. I would encourage you to be pro-active. That is, ask the therapist about it. Don’t wait for this therapist to mention it. It’s possible that this therapist knows nothing about ADHD — or might have wrong ideas about it. That doesn’t mean she cannot help you in other ways, but if you suspect ADHD is part of the picture, you want to know that she has the expertise to recognize it.
Therapists typically don’t diagnose…at least at first. They spend time getting to know the client. Some might recommend an evaluation for one thing or another. But some will wait for the client to ask for it. It’s a real mixed bag. There is no one way to do therapy and skill levels and specialties are all over the map.
7. ADHD can both “look like” depression and can “be” depressing. Yet, sometimes the two conditions co-exist for gene-based reasons. ADHD is associated with low motivation and initiation (unless the activity is very fun and/or appealing). So is depression. So the two conditions share a few aspects, but there is more to both.
Good luck in sorting through all this. Always feel free to leave a comment, even if just to “see what you think.” 🙂
take care,
Gina
I have read your book is it me, is you, or is it adhd. My husband I know that’s what he has. Everything in the book he has been doing and how has been treating me.
I want to help him but hoe can you help someone that tells you that’s not what he has. I’m tired of going through the crazy things. We are having problems in this marriage where sometimes I want to give up. It takes a toll on me to where I don’t want him.
He’s not paying any bills because feels that we are married his name should be on the house. He mismanages his on money and ends up owing the bank for overdraft fees. I stop helping him to get himself together because he wouldn’t step up as a man.
I try to get him an appointment with the doctor but he couldn’t because he said his job. I love him but I’m starting not to like him. We are sleeping in separate rooms and he has called the police on me for his actions.
We have been to marriage counseling, and that was terrible, he focuses more on me and the house then about my husband and said my husband was insecure. How can I get him some help. I know it’s a good person in there somewhere, it’s like dealing with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I live in fort mill, sc. Where can I go to get help for this ADHD.
Hi Tracey,
I’m sorry you find yourself in this situation. It’s one I hear about all too often.
If you have read my book and actively used some of the techniques for “getting through denial,” I’m not sure what else you can do.
It’s very important to check out mental health professionals first, because you might hae just one opportunity. But this is sometimes easier said than done. You won’t know until mid-session.
I understand you are perceiving that your husband is capable of better, if he received proper help. This is sometimes the case. But other times it is not. When ADHD goes undiagnosed for many years, some very poor habits and mindsets can develop — and even with medication, those can be hard to change.
One thing is for sure: You must ensure your financial survival and not leave yourself vulnerable to his actions.
I don’t understand what you mean about him not paying any bills but still wants his name as owner of your house.
But you truly cannot risk letting him continue to destroy your future. You will need that money some day. And it’s not “good” of him to behave as selfishly as you have described.
At some point, after your best efforts, you have to think of self-preservation. I know that having a “treatable condition” creates a lot of gray area. It makes it more difficult than in the old days, where we could feel no hesitation in leaving a “jerk” or a “user” or whatever. But we still must draw a line.
take care,
g
My son was put on trintellex to treat depression and became manic, after the manic episode he ended up in a mental facility and put on more anti-depressant medication
I have weaned him off everything, it has been two years and he has been fine except for extreme anxiety, he now medicates with marijuana and mainly stays to himself, he is 25 and works part time, he will not go to the doctor due to the bad experiences we have had with medication, I believe he has add, I was told he did in Kindergarten and did not want to put him on medication. We went to the AMEN clinic and they diagnosed him add, but he was on a lot of anti-depressants at the time. I need help, someone to guide me on how to help him move forward or to council me is there a resource or doctor who is knowledgable near me? I live in Langhorne pa, I do not want to subject him to the inept doctors I have previously sent him to
Dear Pat,
I am sad to read your story. Wish it was the first time I’ve read similar.
Somehow, we’ve come to view antidepressants as somehow more benign than stimulants. But they are not, especially if the core neurobiological issue isn’t depression but ADHD.
The marijuana usage is deceptive: It probably does help with knocking back the cognitive anxiety but it can also risk further impairing motivation and working memory.
I’ve heard some good things about the “Being Well” Center in Pittsburgh — seems to be about an hour from Langhorne.
http://www.thebeingwellcenter.com
No matter good a provider’s reputation, however, I’ve learned we MUST be educated and self-advocate. To work as part of the team, not take top-down directions that does include our input.
Being on antidepressants for a long time when he actually had ADHD might have changed his brain chemistry. Marijuana will not help that.
I understand his reticence. It is justifiable—and should be acknowledged as such.
But he should also know that he can have more control this time. He doesn’t have to be a passive lab rat.
For example, if he were to try a stimulant, he could start at the very lowest dose and increase slowly, at his comfort level. Stimulants take effect fairly quickly and exit the system hours later. So, that should give him some feeling of control, too.
There are ways to even start with micro-doses, such as with the liquid stimulant Quillivant. Or, with the stimulant Vyvanse, you can open it and pour the medication into a glass of water so you can take a tiny sip–increasing day by day. There is also a patch (Daytrana) that you can take off if you are uncomfortable and it wears off about an hour later.
The main thing is he should know he is in the driver’s seat now, and you are there to help him navigate things and communicate with the care providers.
Good luck!
g
This story really hit home with me. Do you think it’s possible to have depression but ALSO untreated ADHD, which severely exacerbates depression symptoms? I feel like the inability to feel like my life is “together”— due to lack of focus, inability to finish tasks, etc., just makes my depression a million times worse. Kind of a chicken-and-egg scenario, huh.
Hi Nora,
Not just a “chicken-and-egg scenario” but a VERY common phenomenon.
Physicians and therapists are very familiar with depression and anxiety, so that seems the go-to diagnosis.
What many of them do NOT realize is that untreated ADHD can “look like” depression and anxiety.
The best thing to do is examine your life history, with an eye toward possible ADHD symptoms and challenges. The tricky thing is, ADHD symptoms are not always obvious in childhood. The child might be smart and doesn’t have to study but still makes good grades. The household is organized and a parent stays on top of things. Women with ADHD are more likely to be “people pleasers” and so they want to do well in school.
But yes, many people with ADHD do also have depression in its own right—by that I mean, neurogenetic. A brain thing. Not an ADHD-fallout thing. Same for anxiety.
If ADHD seems likely, it’s really best to treat that first and see what’s left.
good luck!
g
I am a physician myself (not psychiatrist), who was severly affected by major depression with anxiety and ADHD.
My theory is that people with ADHD do not (only) have depression because of bad life experiences, but mostly due to their different brain chemistry and brain “wiring”.
If you are always somewhat deficient in dopamine, you’ll slip faster into depression and/or anxiety. Let’s hope that psychiatrist will one day wake up and do the same professional research and studies as oncologists are doing today so we will finally get better treatments!
All the best for you!
Hi Martin,
I find that a very plausible theory. Combined with the emotional dysregulation often central to ADHD—as well as constant rejection, failure to match intentions with outcomes, etc., well, what’s not “depressing” about that?
The trouble comes with a generic term that describes a feeling (“depression”) is assumed to also be the diagnosis.
Research shows that a subset of people with ADHD also have neurogenetics related to depression and anxiety.
But first, treat the ADHD and see what’s left — that’s my perspective.
tx
g
Having just gone through this (only I’m 60), I will only add that it felt like a slog to find someone that would listen to me. The whole hypersensitive rejection coupled with too many doctors that aren’t up to date on the research, and it’s just hard getting shot down. I did finally talk to my GP, he prescribed atomoxetine, and now I feel like I’m off the roller coaster. My wife thinks so, too.
The changes in my life are subtle but when added up, profound. It’s been 6 months and I’m still trying to figure out who I am. What was ADHD? What are old habits? Who am I? One thing I am sure of is I do enjoy people now.
Hi Matt,
Fantastic! I’m glad you finally found some relief.
Yes, people can be annoying. Nothing new there. But when untreated ADHD interferes with the ability to listen, to follow the conversation, etc.. it can feel like the people are the problem, not one’s misfiring neurons.
That’s great that you find atomoxetine useful. At some point, you might want to talk to your doc about adding a stimulant. Most clinicians who know ADHD find that atomoxetine has some benefits but it’s not as effective as the stimulants.
I wrote about the basic medication protocol prescribers should be following (but few do), in my first book. I recommend those chapters and the rest of the book: https://amzn.to/32xf50G
Strattera/atomoxetine was still pretty new when my book came out so I didn’t include much on it, but I will be going in-depth on medication, therapy, couple strategies, and much, much more in my online training: https://ADHDSuccessTraining.com
Thanks for reading and sharing a comment,
g
Wow! I am 65 and was just told I have ADD after many years of being treated for anxiety and depression. I find it hard to swallow but adderall makes me calm and social. I need to explore this further.
Hi Wilma,
Explore away! 🙂
g
How much Vyvanse do you take?
Hi Martin,
I’ll speak for Khanji (but maybe she will weigh in).
It doesn’t really matter what her Vyvanse dosage is. Dosing really depends on individual neurochemistry.
Some people are rapid metabolizers, some slow, and some in between. Moreover, Vyvanse won’t work for all people with ADHD.
It is in the class of stimulants called the amphetamines. The other class is methylphenidate (e.g. Ritalin, Concerta, etc.).
Some people will do markedly better with one class or another. It’s best to try at least one in each class.
Start low. Go slow.
I detail a reliable protocol in my first book: https://amzn.to/32xf50G
thanks for reading,
g
I feel all of your posts dearly & have so much to say….
Im a 32 years old female. I’ve had problems all my life that were never primarily acknowledged. Emotional disregulation from a young age – deep sadness and sensitivity followed by wide spread pain, fatigue and life changes dealt with very badly – parents divorced at 16. I had no time to really acknowledge my struggle because there was always so many problems & dramas happening.
My parents both struggled with undiagnosed adhd. Mum had a number of breakdowns growing up from financial failures and too much pressure and stress. By the time I was 12, copious doctors thinking they knew everything started prescribed me muscle relaxants and pain killers for severe TMJ jaw clenching which were all secondary symptoms & warning signs. I started fearing medication,docs and feeling sedated. I wasnt able to explain my experience. My parents tried to address the secondary problems but by the time I really needed their attention, they were too caught up in themselves. I felt isolated, lost and very much abandoned at the age I was meant to be focusing on what I wanted to do with my life.
I knew something was different about me but, it wasnt until i started smoking cannabis at 16 that I experience relief and felt my mind opening up and working in ways I had only dreamed about! I had drive, improved mood and focus. My words flowed with fluent expression and I felt more myself than I ever had. I felt connected to my heart and my creativity. The light bulb turned on. I felt so ashamed about it.
I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia after the toll of low dopamine and stimulation. Ive tried a bunch of antidepressants but always found myself coming off cold turkey wanting to return to my emotions. I didn’t understand.
It was only once I started Effexor at 21 did I begin to experience slight relief. Nonetheless, without a proper diagnosis to understanding myself, my improvement was limited and required extra stimulants to help me like the cannabis did. I couldn’t focus and stick to a anything for that long. I was so intelligent and gifted but grew up feeling the complete opposite and scared of surviving in this world.
I gave up on it all 5years ago, moved home from overseas to try find my truth in an unmedicated simple healthy lifestyle after yet another overwhelming failure at managing life whilst trying yo find fullfillment and satisfaction. I got a dog and chose to avoid my failures or anything that triggered my anxiety.
3years ago I got my adhd but wasn’t ready to medicate. In the past year I’ve tragically lost my Dad, rehomed my dog because I was falling apart and have been in Melbourne lockdown without a job for 7months. It’s been extremely hard- but when you take everything away the signs of adhd are extremely clear. I’m back where I was 16years ago but now I know what to do. I started on Vyvanse last week- it’s not for me. Feeling it’s best to get back on Effexor and add a stimulant in from there.
The medication journey is indeed challenging – vyvanse was a horrible experience for me even though i did notice its very calming effect much like cannabis.
If doctors were educated and did their jobs my story would be very different.
ADHD and all spectrum disorders are so extremely fascinating.
I really don’t understand how psychiatry is where it is!
The hardest part of the journey has been blaming myself and wanting to know how I got to where I am when I had big dreams. Also seeing the different versions of myself depending on how much stimulation I have. Part of me is fearful of switching back on.
When I’m on I’m like a musical creative jukebox and when I’m off I have nothing to say and no drive. Nonetheless, I can’t wait to feel better and try again! There needs to be an improvement -there needs to be support workers who understand.
I’m in Australia and all the help seems to be about improving one’s grades or work capacity rather than understanding the condition ❤
Dear Alexi,
Your story breaks my heart.
In this 21st Century, to leave people struggling with a documented, well-studied condition that can create so much suffering — and is typically highly responsive to treatment — it’s just beyond me to fathom.
It’s insanity, really.
I wish you all the best in finding useful care in Australia. Learn all you can and advocate all you can.
take care,
g