Introducing: The You Me ADHD Book Club!

You, Me, ADHD Book Club


Are you struggling in a relationship where one or both of you have ADHD, including late-diagnosis ADHD?  Join the discussion at the You Me ADHD Book Club.

No fees. No registration. Always open. The Book Club consists of chapter-by-chapter essays based  on my first book:  Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?

Essays come courtesy of two really smart friends, Taylor J. and Jaclyn Paul. Both are late-diagnosis ADHD and married to late-diagnosis men. There are several children with ADHD in the mix, too.

It’s never too late to join in the discussion. Everyone is welcome to comment.

A big part of healing from ADHD-fueled relationship challenges is finding your voice, finding the words to describe your experience to yourself but also for others. Try it and see!

(Note: I moderate two free, open-to-the-public discussion groups here in Silicon Valley. And I moderate a large online discussion group for the partners of adults with ADHD. Click here to learn more about Finding Support.)

The goal of the Book Club is simple: To provide an accessible, on-your-own-time forum for

  1. Discussing book-inspired epiphanies, and
  2. Broadening your understanding of Adult ADHD. Particularly its impact on relationships.

Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? covers a lot of ground, and it’s a very dense book. There’s no fluff!

One-Stop Resource for Individuals, Couples

Contrary to the common perception, my first book is not a book about ADHD and relationships. I designed it to be one-stop shopping for adults with ADHD and their loved ones for “stopping the roller coaster” of ADHD fallout in their lives. (See chapter list at the end of this post.)

Who Leads the Book Club Discussion?

Taylor J. is a book fan-turned-friend.  She’s a fantastic writer who knows this topic from many angles:

  1. She has ADHD, diagnosed just a few years ago.
  2. At least one of her parents and siblings have ADHD.
  3. Her husband was diagnosed shortly after she was.
  4. As for her four children and ADHD? Well, that’s an unfolding story. Stay tuned.

(Update: Read about what happened when her eldest, age 7, started stimulant medication:  ADHD, Empathy & “Raising a Narcissist”)

Jaclyn Paul took up leadership with the chapter on medication. How Can Medication Help ADHD Relationships?

It Works This Way:

With each post, we explore one chapter of the book. So far, we’ve covered 16 major chapters.

How can you participate?  Simply share your comments.  Comment on the post or the chapter itself.

Ready to Participate?

You needn’t have read the book first before reading or commenting. But I recommend it.

Here are links to sources for purchasing the paperback and audio version:

Thank you, Taylor and Jaclyn, for joining me in creating this remarkable resource.  I couldn’t have asked for better narrators!

You, Me, ADHD Book Club

Hyperlinks to  Each Essay

Chapter titles appearing as hyperlinks correspond to an essay in the Book Club. Click to read.

As you can see, there is plenty of room for guest essays. Let me know if you are interested and in which chapter!

Book Introduction                                                                                                                   

Part One 

From the Tunnel of Love to the Roller Coaster:

Could Your Partner Have ADHD?

Section Introduction

1    Who Has a Ticket to Ride? Spotting ADHD’s Surprising Signs

2    Laying the Track’s Foundation: What Is ADHD, Anyway?

3    Deconstructing Your Coaster: Why Each Is Unique

4    Financial Loop-the-Loops: “It’s Only Money, Honey!”

5    Driving While Distracted: The Roller Coaster Hits the Road

6    Peaks and Valleys: ADHD in the Bedroom

7    More Mystifying Twists and Turns

Part TWO

Roller Coaster Whiplash and G-Force Confusion:

How Many Plunges Before You Say, “Whoa!”

Section Introduction

8    First Plunge: Explaining the Inexplicable

9    Second Plunge: Managing the Unmanageable

10  Third Plunge: Breaking Down in Illness—Or Through to Truth


Your Relationship and the Art of Roller Coaster Maintenance:

Four Success Strategies

Section Introduction

Success Strategy #1: Taking Care of Yourself

Introduction: The Amusement Park’s Emergency Room

11  Strategies for Right Now

12  Solving ADHD’s Double Whammy

Success Strategy #2: Dealing With Denial

Introduction: Roller Coaster? What Roller Coaster?

13  Psychological Denial: The FEAR Factor

14  Biological Denial: Not Unwilling to See—Just Unable

15  New Ways to Broach “The Conversation”

16  More Solutions and Strategies

Success Strategy #3: Finding Effective Therapy

Introduction: Calling in a Consultant to Help Retrofit Your Ride

17  Why the Wrong Therapy Is Worse Than No Therapy

18  Therapy That Works for ADHD

19  More Solutions and Strategies

Success Strategy #4: Understanding Medication’s Role

Introduction: Tightening the Brakes on the Roller Coaster

20  Making Connections Between Brain and Behavior

This post from Jaclyn at The ADHD Homestead touches on a range of issues within this section on medication

21  Rx: Treatment Results That Last

22  Maximizing Lifestyle Choices, Minimizing Rx Side Effects

23 Catch Your Breath and Take Five

Appendix A:

Adult ADHD Evaluation and Diagnosis

Appendix B:

“But I Heard That…”: More Background for the Unconvinced

Appendix C:

Three Views from Decades on the ADHD Roller Coaster


7 thoughts on “Introducing: The You Me ADHD Book Club!”

  1. Sorry but I don’t see how to participate in the book club. Does it all happen through the blog? Let me know please. And Gina, I want to say once again how much I loved your book. I first read it about 7 years ago, and it changed my life. I cried for a week. Finally I understood. I admire you so much, your advocacy and the research you did on the topic. Your work has been a blessing to so many, I’m sure of it. Even if the marriage wasn’t saved, I gave it my best effort knowing that it was not me or him, but ADD. And when we separated and eventually divorced, I understood why it was happening. And I felt compassion for my then husband, who came into adulthood with emotional baggage he was totally unaware of. But I was in so much pain myself. I am so thankful for your outreach to those with ADD, and their spouses. There are still so many who are unaware of the impact of ADD on relationships and the family overall.

    1. Hi Karen,

      Thank you SO MUCH for the kind words.

      My energy is flagging today, as I finish all the details on my next book (a clinical guide for therapists treating ADHD-challenged couples), and you really gave me a boost!

      Here’s how the book club will work (and no, it hasn’t started yet):

      1. I will post an essay on the first chapter, from my friend who will be doing all the writing.
      2. Readers chime in with their own reactions to that chapter.
      3. Every two weeks, we’ll do another chapter. (Or maybe every week. Not sure).

      Stay tuned, and I hope you’ll join us!


  2. Veronica Knaflic

    I hope this group is better than the Yahoo groups. They became overwhelming for me, it was hard to deal with so much information coming from every direction. Coping with ADHD fast paced mind is hard enough to in addition have to read so much about so many topics. Lets say reading is not my strength. So many people were looking for answer in the Yahoo groups, I don’t know how can someone handle it. Going by the book chapter may have a less complicated background. I’m willing to give this a try.

    1. I know what you mean, Veronica. There is an overwhelming amount of information about ADHD on the web now, and it takes a lot of energy and “brain muscle” to wade through it.

      My aim with the posts is to present a “curated” group, to make it worth the investment of reading.

      I also moderate comments to the post, so there won’t be any nonsense there (ads, spam, anti-psychiatry wingnuttery, etc.).


  3. Hi Gina,

    This sounds interesting and I’m looking forward to reading your friends ’emails’ (?) about your book and others comments as well..
    As I understand you or Taylor will be sending us/me weekly discussions that we can join in on..

    Do I need to do anything else?

    I have your book and have read it. As a matter of fact I have come to a talk you gave in SF and also met you at the ADHD conference in SF when I blurted something idiotic out to you in passing while looking desperately for the restroom :” Gina its you! It’s me! And I really have to Pee!” You looked kind of askance and I fled to the restroom..!

    In any case in looking forward to the online book group!
    Thanks for doing this,

    1. LOL!! Lara, I’m not sure if I understood you when you said “Gina, it’s you! It’s me! And I really have to pee!” If I did, I would have laughed.

      To clarify, here is how it will work: I will post a short essay from Taylor, which incorporates the perspectives of several adults with ADHD and their partners. Blog readers can then add their comments.

      It won’t be a “real-time” chat (I find chats so annoying!), but a blog post and comments. Simpler. Cleaner. Read when you can; comment when you can. It’ll always be open. 😉


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