Currently, I offer three Adult ADHD support groups—one face-to-face group for the adults and two for the partners of adults with ADHD (one face-to-face and one is online). All are free and open to the public.
You’ll also find here in my ADHD Roller Coaster blog a virtual book club—chapter by chapter essays based on reading my first book.
Face-to-Face Groups Meet in Palo Alto
Here in Silicon Valley, I offer two monthly face-to-face groups (sign up at the links):
1. Palo Alto: A discussion group for adults with ADHD (sign up to be notified of meetings; e-mail is minimal)
2. Palo Alto: A discussion group for partners/spouses of adults with ADHD (parents and siblings of these adults are welcome, too—please sign up to be notified of meetings and RSVP if you plan to attend)
Please note: The “partners of” meeting requires an RSVP, with a minimum number required to hold the meeting. If that number is not met by the early afternoon of the meeting, it will be canceled. So, you’ll want to be notified of that.
I do suggest (but do not require) a $5 donation for the face-to-face meetings to defray room rental and other costs.
- There is one mailing list shared by both groups. Typically, there is one notice and one reminder for each group. Monthly.
- It is not appropriate for mental-health professionals, coaches, therapists-in-training, and others to sit in on the meeting. Please know this before you come, because I do not make exceptions.
Virtual Support Group for the Partners of Adults with ADHD—Internationally
3. ADHD Partner: An online support group for the partners of adults with ADHD
This is a groups.io format—based on e-mail exchange within the group. It is not a chat room or a discussion board. Rather, it is e-mail based, and you may use an anonymous e-mail address (advised) to protect privacy.
It conforms to your schedule; send an e-mail and go about your business. Come back and read the responses.
Choose to receive individual e-mails or the daily and weekly digests—or read at the site. Search the archives for key topics.
Self-Education is Key
Group support works best when you self-educate on Adult ADHD, its potential effect on relationships and all aspects of life, and evidence-based treatment strategies. In other words, turn to the group for validation and support—not for basic education in Adult ADHD and its treatment strategies.
My first book was informed in part by years of leading these groups. It will provide the solid foundation you need to start healing your life and your relationship: Is it You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder)
Please note: This book was published in 2008—though all the information is “evergreen”. At that time, the public still knew it as Attention Deficit Disorder, not the current official term of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
If I’d added “hyperactivity” to the title, many potential readers would have concluded, “Well, I don’t have (or my partner doesn’t have) hyperactivity, so this won’t be helpful.”
This was only the third book on Adult ADHD available at the time. Awareness wasn’t anything like it is today.
Come Join Us!
Leading these groups for more than a decade has been my immense pleasure.
Seeing (and reading about) strangers of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds coming together for mutual support, strategy-sharing and much laughter is inspirational—and fun.
Come join us. It’s friendly and informal.
You, Me, and ADHD Online Book Club…
Finally, I’ve created another free online resource: the “You, Me, and ADHD” Book Club. This is a collection of 16 essays, each based on having read a chapter in my first book. You are invited to read alone at home and share your perspectives in the comments section.
I am particularly proud of this series and the writers behind it. Why? Because from the very beginning, I’ve never seen ADHD relationship issues as an issue of “ADHD vs. Non-ADHD”. In fact, I’ve often found that narrative harmful.
Why? Instead of paving the way toward solutions, the “ADHD vs. Non-ADHD” view sets up a false dichotomy and ready-made conflict. Instead of recognizing that poorly managed ADHD affects all of life—not just a person’s relationships—it implies that the only challenge is the “relationship dynamic.” Instead of seeing each couple as unique, it over-simplifies their challenges in a way that’s more useful to marketing than the couples themselves.
ADHD is a highly variable syndrome. Moreover, it is only one aspect of personality. Yes, there are common challenges. Let’s acknowledge them. But these people are not clones. And, neither are their partners. Each couple is unique—and guess what? Some couples are dual-ADHD!
When ADHD adversely affects, in varying degrees, that adult’s education, employment, driving skills, temper, parenting consistency, substance use, sleep, health, and many other “domains of life,” that has an impact on the partner or spouse and the children. No amount of “couple communication” training is going to address these systemic challenges. Instead, these individuals and couples need solid and joint ADHD education, support, and evidence-based strategies.
…With Essays Written by Women in Dual-ADHD Marriages
That’s why I feel so fortunate to have recruited two friends familiar with the broad spectrum of potential ADHD challenges in life and relationships to write these essays: Taylor J. (pseudonym) and Jaclyn Paul (who blogs at The ADHD Homestead).
- Are excellent, thoughtful writers
- Were diagnosed with ADHD later in life
- Are mothers to children diagnosed with ADHD
- Are married to men with late-diagnosis ADHD
You can begin reading here: Chapter 1: You, Me, and ADHD Book Club
I look forward to welcoming you!
—Gina Pera, founder and lead group moderator