Adult ADHD and Partner Support Groups

Support Groups for Adults with ADHD—And Their Partners

Are you looking for Adult ADHD and partner support?  I offer three support-discussion groups:

  • One face-to-face group for the adults
  • Two groups for the partners of adults with ADHD (one face-to-face and one is online). We also welcome parents of adults with ADHD.

All are free and open to the public.

You’ll also find here in my ADHD Roller Coaster blog a virtual book club—chapter by chapter essays based on reading my first book.

Here are more details, including how join the mailing list.

COVID Update:  We are in the process of setting up virtual versions of the face-to-face groups. Join the mailing list to be notified when that happens.

Face-to-Face Groups Meet in Palo Alto

Here in Silicon Valley, I offer two monthly face-to-face groups (sign up at the links):

1. Palo Alto: A discussion group for adults with ADHD (sign up to be notified of meetings; e-mail is minimal)

2. Palo Alto: A discussion group for partners/spouses of adults with ADHD (parents and siblings of these adults are welcome, too—please sign up to be notified of meetings and RSVP if you plan to attend)

Please note: The “partners of” meeting requires an RSVP, with a minimum number required to hold the meeting. If that number is not met by the early afternoon of the meeting, it will be canceled. So, you’ll want to be notified of that.

As CHADD Norcal volunteers, we do suggest (but do not require) a $5 donation for the face-to-face meetings to defray room rental and other costs.

Please note:

  • One mailing list serves both groups. Typically, there is one notice and one reminder for each group. Monthly.
  • It is not appropriate for mental-health professionals, coaches, therapists-in-training, and others to sit in on the meeting. Please know this before you come, because I do not make exceptions.

Virtual Support Group for the Partners of Adults with ADHD—Internationally

3. ADHD Partner: An online support group for the partners of adults with ADHD

This is a format—based on e-mail exchange within the group. It is not a chat room or a discussion board. Rather, it is e-mail based, and you may use an anonymous e-mail address (advised) to protect privacy.

It conforms to your schedule; send an e-mail and go about your business. Come back and read the responses.

Choose to receive individual e-mails or the daily and weekly digests—or read at the site. Search the archives for key topics.

Self-Education is Key

Group support works best when you self-educate on Adult ADHD, its potential effect on relationships and all aspects of life, and evidence-based treatment strategies.  In other words, turn to the group for validation and support—not for basic education in Adult ADHD and its treatment strategies.

My first book was informed in part by years of leading these groups.  It will provide the solid foundation you need to start healing your life and your relationship:  Is it You, Me, or  Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder)

Please note:  This book was published in 2008—though all the information is “evergreen”.  At that time, the public still knew ADHD as Attention Deficit Disorder.

Come Join Us!

Leading these groups for more than a decade has been my immense pleasure.

Seeing (and reading about) strangers of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds coming together for mutual support, strategy-sharing and much laughter is inspirational—and fun.

Come join us. It’s friendly and informal.

You, Me, and ADHD Online Book Club…

You, Me, and ADHD Online Book ClubFinally, I’ve created another free online resource:  the “You, Me, and ADHD” Book Club.  This is a collection of 16 essays, each based on having read a chapter in my first book. You are invited to read alone at home and share your perspectives in the comments section.

I am particularly proud of this series and the writers behind it.  Why? Because from the very beginning, I’ve never seen ADHD relationship issues as an issue of “ADHD vs. Non-ADHD”. In fact, I’ve often found that narrative harmful.

Why? Instead of paving the way toward solutions, the “ADHD vs. Non-ADHD” view sets up a false dichotomy and ready-made conflict. Instead of recognizing that poorly managed ADHD affects all of life—not just a person’s relationships—it implies that the only challenge is the “relationship dynamic.”

Instead of seeing each couple as unique, it over-simplifies their challenges in a way that’s more useful to marketing than the couples themselves.

ADHD is a highly variable syndrome. Moreover, it is only one aspect of personality. Yes, there are common challenges.  Let’s acknowledge them. But these people are not clones. And, neither are their partners.  Each couple is unique—and guess what? Some couples are dual-ADHD!

When ADHD adversely affects, in varying degrees, that adult’s education, employment, driving skills, temper, parenting consistency, substance use, sleep, health, and many other “domains of life,” that has an impact on the partner or spouse and the children. No amount of “couple communication” training is going to address these systemic challenges. Instead, these individuals and couples need solid and joint ADHD education, support, and evidence-based strategies.

…With Essays Written by Women in Dual-ADHD Marriages

That’s why I feel so fortunate to have recruited two friends familiar with the broad spectrum of potential ADHD challenges in life and relationships to write these essays:  Taylor J. (pseudonym) and Jaclyn Paul (who blogs at The ADHD Homestead).

Both women:

  • Are excellent, thoughtful writers
  • Were diagnosed with ADHD later in life
  • Are mothers to children diagnosed with ADHD
  • Are married to men with late-diagnosis ADHD

You can begin reading here:  Chapter 1: You, Me, and ADHD Book Club

I look forward to welcoming you!

—Gina Pera, founder and lead group moderator

10 thoughts on “Adult ADHD and Partner Support Groups”

  1. Hi Gina
    My husband is 59 and he was diagnosed when he was 55. What would you recommend reading first?

    Thank you in advance,


    1. Hi Kira,

      I would start with “Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?”

      It’s very comprehensive, in explaining what ADHD is, what late-diagnosis “baggage” might look like, the potential effect on the partners of poorly managed ADHD, and the evidence-based treatment strategies. Plus a lot more. 🙂

      I hope you find it helpful,

    1. Hi Gwnyneth,

      I’m working on it.

      Family illness and other COVID-related issues — plus my work — has meant I’ve had no extra time.

      Moreover, the online partners group has been swelling with applications. It’s a lot to manage.

      But look for them soon.

  2. Kidlet Who Cooks

    Gina, Hmmm, maybe because I was establishing contact via my laptop and not a mobile device that was the problem. I did get your responses in my yahoo email – sorry for so many of them! – and it looks like I’m now in the group. Thanks for your facilitating that. I’m looking forward to sharing stories and solutions with the other members.

    Jeannine aka Kidlet Who Cooks

  3. Kidlet Who Cooks

    Tried to join the yahoo group 3 day ago. Looks like membership process initially started. Never received the auto email application. Sent email to group addresses asking about this, but no response. Can’t start over – Join Now button no longer on page. Help!

    1. Hi there,

      Sorry that you had trouble. It seems that with the advent of more people receiving e-mail on mobile devices, the system has become more reliable.

      I’ll find your pending application and write to you directly.


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