If your husband truly does have ADHD+Bi-polar disorder — and isn’t simply misdiagnosed with one or suffers from something else, such as a head injury– it can be very tricky finding a competent treating physician. Surely, it’s going to require more than the average family doctor.

You might know there is “much more than taking a pill” to getting better, but if he doesn’t start with the right pill, he might not be able to implement other steps.

The best guidance I can give you is to educate yourself. You might want to read Dr. Daniel Amen’s book “Healing ADD.” He talks about the overlap with some other conditions, such as bipolar, and which medications might be indicated or contraindicated.

Good luck,
Gina

That is an excellent question, because the human costs are so terribly high.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Gina

I had my first child at 23 years old & my life fell apart. I suffered from ppd, severe anxiety, depression, and rages. My husband has graciously stood by side & I’m so thankful for that. I went to therapy & took Wellbutrin. After a year I finally felt some relief. I came off the WB to have a 2nd child. I was amazing during my pregnancy. So relaxed & in control. I lost 10lb of body fat (he was a healthy 7.7 lb baby). After his birth, I slowly went down hill feeling fatigued, overwhelmed, unable to lose weight, & unfocused. I went to an D.O. & she ran every test possible. The only result was extremely high inflammation. I then went to a rheumatologist who ruled out auto immunes. I was left with no choice but to accept depression as a diagnosis although I didn’t feel sad. Prozac caused my breast to leak colostrum, so I went back to Wellbutrin. It helped some but I never felt good again. A few years later I was given phentermine for weightloss. Oh my, I slept so good and woke on my own when the sun came up. I was more focused and functioned more like I did in my better days. So I went to a psyc. You have bipolar I they said. Well, here I am two years later. I’ve explored all medications, and had so much cognitive therapy I could teach a class. The dead end has left me feeling doomed in this hell. Yesterday I started a trial of Adderol SR. It was the best day I’ve had in the half of my life. I parented with love & patience. I didn’t feel confused, overwhelmed, or as if my life was beyond my control. It all stopped for a day and I was me! I connected with my children emotionally for the first time in a while. WHY ARE THESE PSYC SO DEAF? After being treated for bpd the add symptoms continued to torture me for years & I had to demand/throw a tantrum for them to treat add after researching it myself! I think this article was DEAD ON in situations like mine.

A few tips:

Have someone be a soundboard before you sit down to write an essay, etc. I found it much easier to express my thoughts and answer questions verbally to someone listening. I used my 13 yr old daughter during English II. It was the worst for me bc it was analyzing poetry and old stories. It was best that I explained to her what the story was about, jot down my conclusions as I talked, then sit down & write the paper.

Break down reading assignments. Read 1 small paragraph & write down a sentence summing it up. Sometimes you may only need a note like Inflation=^ prices.

I didnt realize I processed information best this way until my last semester or two. Hope it hps you.

Even in small doses, it is not considered a “typical” treatment for adults with ADHD.

But, as you know, ADHD has many “traveling companions,” and sometimes another medication is added to the stimulant to treat the full range of symptoms.

Sometimes Lamictal helps. Sometimes an SSRI. Sometimes one of the many other choices, depending upon the individual.

Happy holidays to you!
g

It sounds like you are on a better path now, having been understood by your psychologist.

I’m sorry to hear about the meltdown — for you and your husband.

I hope you both are seeing that as a sign that your current treatment isn’t working — as “data” — and not as a volitional act.

Yes, I wrote my book as much for adults with ADHD as their partners. I consider it one of the best guides to comprehensive understanding of ADHD symptoms as well as “late-diagnosis emotional baggage” and knowing how to pursue good treatment strategies. Therapy, medication, etc. It is both a primer and a reference book.

It is “written to” the partners of adults with ADHD for three reasons:

1. Before my book, no book explained these Adult ADHD issues to the loved ones and validated their experiences.

2. I wanted to reach outside of the population that already knew about ADHD to spread the news that “couples troubles” might involve one or both partners having ADHD. Hence the title, “Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?”

2. It is very cumbersome to find language to address both partners at once. I detest the term “non-ADHD partner” for a whole host of reasons, specifically because sometimes there are TWO adults with ADHD in the relationship. But also, because I find it stupid to define someone by what they are not (as far as we know!).

So, you can read the reviews on Amazon from the many adults with ADHD who consider it one of the best books on the topic.

Good luck!
g

Thank you so much for your very helpful response. I waited to respond to your comments – wanted to see the psychologist first. When I saw the psychologist yesterday she asked many more probing questions which I welcome. She said she thinks I have ADD with Gen. Anxiety DO which I have read can be a comorbidity of ADD. I can certainly see why this occurs! she said the psychiatrist I am seeing will listen to her comments.

Thank you for your insight re: Lamictal and great that you know one of the scientists who developed the drug. Hmmm interesting that folks with ADHD can be helped with a small dose of it along with ADHD tx. No ADD meds yet but excercise recommended by psychologist until apptmt 2 weeks from now. Lamictal now at 50 mg am and pm.

I have to tell you I had a “meltdown” last night while cooking dinner for my mother and husband and I. Things spiraled out of control – could not focus enough to follow the steps calmly to cook three simple dishes at one time – was running back and forth in the kitchen and could not remember what step was next, things kept falling off the countertop during the cooking process. Became so distracted by so many things and so frustrated that similar to Scott’s comments this monster anger exploded from me complete with yelling and stomping of feet etc. My poor husband was so horrified and quiet I felt so sorry for him but could not stop the rage until it was “spent”. This is unacceptable to me and certainly to my poor husband and the lamictal has certainly not helped this monster.

Hard to believe years ago in school IQ was 138 when I get so distracted and irritable and angry. Looking forward to reading your book – does it deal with the person with ADHD approach as well as the loved ones who have to put up with it?

Sure hope psychologist and psychiatrist can get together re: treating the ADD. Really do not know how much more my husband (or I) can take of this! I understand that a rational protocol is needed.

Thank you again and hope you have a good Christmas if you do not have a chance to write before then

Libby

First of all, it’s great that you considered the opinions of your family. Family isn’t always right, but they can often offer important “data” that should at least be considered instead of dismissed out of hand, as too many people do.

Second, I think you should stick with this new psychologist and see how it benefits you.

The sad fact is that there are many “fiefdoms” among psychiatric specialties. Some “bi-polar disorder specialists” will never see ADHD. And I suppose the same is true of ADHD specialists, though in my experience I’ve seen them to be more respectful of the possible comorbidities, including bi-polar disorder.

On a side note, I actually know one of the scientists who developed Lamictal, and he was adamant in that it should be “started low, titrated slowly” — as all psychotropic medications should be but, sadly, often are not.

It could be that a small dose of Lamictal, along with ADHD treatment, might work well for you. That is the case for many people with ADHD I know.

But if you do have ADHD, it’s best to follow a rational protocol for its medical treatment, as outlined in my book: Is it You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0981548709/ref=s9_sims_gw_s1_p14_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=0Y9XTBJ1CB14HVJ3H570&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846

Good luck and keep us posted!

Gina