This question comes up a lot: “How do you know if it’s ADHD or bi-polar disorder?” My friend and fellow journalist-advocate John McManamy writes an excellent blog on bi-polar disorder. Recently, he has devoted a series of posts addressing this very topic. I share handy links to each post below.
Marching in a NAMI-San Diego fundraiser, John McManamy played his digeridoo.
In his regular blog posts on Knowledge Is Necessity, John often reminds his readers to also consider any possible indicators of ADHD: “Because unrecognized ADHD could be what is holding you or your loved one back. Perhaps it’s not bi-polar but actually ADHD. Or the two are co-existing: bipolar with some attention-impulse issues; ADHD with some mood-emotions issues.”
Likewise, if you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD (or suspect you have it), it’s also important to watch for bipolar and mood-disorder symptoms. Stimulants alone can exacerbate those issues. As John says: “Either way, in bipolar if the ADHD is not addressed, treatment is problematic frustration with meds, no recovery. In ADHD if the bipolar is not addressed, same thing: treatment is problematic, frustration with meds, no recovery.”
Here are the links to John’s six-part series he wrote for Health Central (did I mention he’s a heckuva compelling writer?):
[Note: This post technically comes mid-series, but I am repositioning as the intro for ADHD Roller Coaster blog readers.]
Rarely, if ever, do we “just have bipolar.” Something else is invariably going on. Perhaps not full-blown, often “a little bit of this” and “a little bit of that.” For instance, Ellen Frank of the University of Pittsburgh has done work into the overlap between mood disorders and anxiety. I recall hearing her in a talk telling people that just two symptoms of another condition can significantly complicate the course and treatment of the mood disorder.
You are probably reading this page because you know in your bones that you have bipolar [or in this blog's case, ADHD]. If you are like me, you may have welcomed the diagnosis. It explained your whole crazy life. It offered you the hope of getting your life back on track, once you figured out the nature of this beast.
But, if you are like me, you also found that their were more obstacles to your recovery than you bargained on. Once you had a handle on controlling your depressions and manias, you may have noticed some quirks in your thinking and emotions and behaviors. What was going on?
A little bit of this and that? Another full-blown diagnosis? [continued here]
Part I: The Bipolar-ADHD Connection – Paying Attention to Attention
You know how it goes down. It’s late evening, you’re starting to droop, big day tomorrow, time to hit the hay. But first, five minutes to check out Facebook. Someone’s just posted “Ten Reasons Why Rednecks Make Bad Astrophysicists.” You decide you need a good laugh. You click to the full piece. It’s hilarious. You’re laughing your ass off. You can’t stop now, of course. You click on the link to “Seven Great Disasters in History Caused By Men Who Didn’t Ask for Directions.”
Inside your brain, your dopamine circuits are firing. The thinking parts of your brain lock in. You are alert and hyper-focused, but at the expense of any awareness of your immediate world and what you need to be doing to negotiate your way through it. All sense of time vanishes. [continued here]
Part II: Bipolar-ADHD Connection – Lack of Impulse Control or Hypomania?
According to data from the International Mood Disorders Collaborative Project, nearly one in five individuals with bipolar experience ADD. What we really need to be aware of, though, is that we don’t have to have a full-blown ADHD diagnosis to complicate our lives. Virtually all of us (“normal” people included) have attention problems of some sort. Thus, we all need to be paying attention – to attention.
Another element of ADHD concerns lack of ability to rein in impulses. It works something like this: Attention is a function of the thinking parts of the brain. If you’re not thinking right, the front end of your brain is perpetually engaged in a losing battle with the back end of the brain. The back of your brain may tell you that now would be a good time to belt out “There’s No Business Like Show Business” in your best Ethel Merman voice. The front end of your brain neglects to remind you that you happen to be in the middle of a business meeting right now. [continued here]
Part III: The Bipolar-ADHD Connection – Lack of Focus or Depression or Fatigue?
Last week, we asked the question, Is it hypomania or is it ADHD? This begs the obvious follow-up: Is it depression or is it ADHD? For starters, check out this DSM-IV symptom for depression:
Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness …
Now compare that to this symptom for ADHD:
Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks …
“Fighting through the fog” is how those with ADHD describe their attempts to achieve some form of mental clarity. All of us (even those considered “normal”) know what this is like. We experience it every morning, prior to our coffee, which I jokingly refer to as my “neuro-cognitive starter.”
Gulp-gulp-ahh! The fog lifts. But what if it doesn’t? What if, in effect, you don’t fully awaken? Is this depression or is this ADD? Maybe chronic fatigue? Perhaps all of the above? Consider this DSM-IV symptom for depression:
Fatigue or loss of energy … [continued here]
Part IV: Bipolar-ADHD Connection – Questions
This is the fourth in our conversation on the overlap between bipolar and ADD (or ADHD). In our previous pieces, we looked at the confusion between hypomania and ADD and depression (and fatigue) and ADD. By way of example: If you are dancing on a table during a business meeting, oblivious to those around you, is it hypomania or ADD? What if you are over-absorbed in a project or activity? Or what if you’re jumping from one thing to the other? Or what if you fail to rein in your impulses? Or what if you experience getting high on doing something totally crazy or risky?
Is it hypomania or ADD? [continued here]
Part V: Bipolar-ADHD Connection- Managing the Situation
This is the fifth in our conversation on the overlap between bipolar and ADHD. If you are like me, you are probably a lot more confused than you were at the beginning of this series. Trust me, this is a good thing. There are no easy answers. We need to be asking questions. [continued here]
Your comments welcome. No registration or annoying codes required.
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This comes at the perfect time. Thanks, Gina and John, for helping to bridge this gap.
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You are welcome!
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The articles seem to come from the point of view of definitely Bipolar with a little bit of ADD, but what about definitely ADD with a little bit of Bipolar, or is that even likely/possible?
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Hi Jessi,
Yes, of course that’s possible — “definitely ADD with a little bit of bipolar.”
When it comes to the most complex of human organs, the brain, anything is possible.
If you and your care providers are having trouble teasing out the “labels,” it might be best to delve deeper than labels and explore your individual neurochemistry. One way to do that is via a test that measures biomarkers for neurotransmitters. You take the test at home, filling little containers with saliva and urine and mailing it off to the lab.
Insurance mostly covers this testing (when my husband and I took it, it was $400, with our insurance covering 75%). And you discuss the results with a trained clinician by phone. My friend and colleague Dr. Parker is an expert in interpreting these results — and in making recommendations based on your other reported issues. http://www.corepsychblog.com
I also encourage you to read Dr. Parker’s book on “Paying Attention to the Meds for Paying Attention.” Info at his website.
FYI — I have no business interests with either the lab or Dr. Parker.
Good luck!
Gina
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I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 18 years old, and bi-polar disorder at the age of 20. I was medicated for a short while, however, I never took either of the diagnosis’ seriously until now, at the age of 22. It is extremely hard when I reach the point in life where I can look back and see how much I could have done better at had I taken my diagnosis seriously. I have transfered to 3 colleges, in 3 states across the country. I cannot sit still, ever. And now have lost health insurance in the middle of my 1st semester back in college. I have always been labled as smart by all my professors, friends, and family, but have also been nicknamed as “CantGetRight” representing the fact that I have so much potential, and just cant get things right. ADHD and Bi-polar disorder is an everyday struggle. I attempt and fail at many things, over and over and over again. I am fully aware when it is happening but for this reason feel completely unable to stop it. When I have medicine this trend is not as severe, however, it is always present. I know that I am a smart young lady, often times scoring very high on exams, and in the very superior level on assessments, but this is not reflected in my schoolwork, or anywhere where it matters. Life is so hard, I just do not know how to cope and it seems as though the easiest thing to do is to give up…
Sincerely,
Cantgetright-
Hi Lulu,
It probably is no consolation to know that many adults find out they have ADHD at an older age than you did– and wait much longer to “do something” about it.
So, give yourself a pat on the back for getting on board with ADHD treatmnent and know that it can take a while to find the right medication and strategies for you.
Always keep trying to improve. Bit by bit. Your diet. Your sleep. Your exercise. And keep learning about your medication options. Many physicians are selling short their patients with ADHD.
Hang in there.
g -
ADD/BPD cannot take the chance to succeed away from you. It will just come at a higher cost to you. Don’t give up. It took me 11 yrs to complete a 2 yr AAS, but I did and I did it with honors. I worked ft & only took 1/2 classes at a time. I struggle with reading & writing, apparently organizing a paper per 1 professor, and had to read stuff repeatedly to teach myself when I didnt pay attention in lectures.
A few tips:
Have someone be a soundboard before you sit down to write an essay, etc. I found it much easier to express my thoughts and answer questions verbally to someone listening. I used my 13 yr old daughter during English II. It was the worst for me bc it was analyzing poetry and old stories. It was best that I explained to her what the story was about, jot down my conclusions as I talked, then sit down & write the paper.
Break down reading assignments. Read 1 small paragraph & write down a sentence summing it up. Sometimes you may only need a note like Inflation=^ prices.
I didnt realize I processed information best this way until my last semester or two. Hope it hps you.
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My psychiatrist has had me somewhere on the bipolar spectrum for a couple of years now. The medications definitely improved my mood. However, there was still the irritable short temper that never went away (among other symptoms I’m just now learning about).
I needed more definitive information so after spending some time with a psychologist she diagnosed me with ADHD 4 months ago. The stimulant medication completely obliterated all symptoms of the irritability, impatience and short temper. It also improved my mood.
Based on what I’m learning from this book and others, ADHD is hands down the winner
Ok, I say that meaning if I had to diagnose myself and choose just one it would be ADHD. Yes, I have had some pretty outrageous behavior that could be attributed to bipolar but I have no idea if they would have occurred if I was medicated with a stimulant.
I guess it seems to me that the response to a stimulant should be a pretty good indicator??? If it gets you high or manic, etc. then wouldn’t you ‘not’ have ADHD? Isn’t that really a tell tale sign?
Thanks
scott-
Hi Scott,
Good for you, for persevering until you found better results. And sure, I’d agree with you, in general, that a positive response to a stimulant is a pretty good indicator that you have it. When someone has bipolar disorder and ADHD, however, it’s trickier. Sometimes a mood-stabilizer must be on board before the stimulant is added — otherwise it could potentially exacerbate mania.
Speaking of anger, irritability, ADHD, and bi-polar disorder….
When I started being an advocate for Adult ADHD, more than 12 years ago, I was observing lots of irritability and anger issues among adults with ADHD – and hearing similar reports from their partners. When I’d ask ADHD-specializing psychiatrists and psychologists about it, they’d insist those characteristics really pointed more to bi-polar.
In fact, when some people with ADHD were given Adderall and experienced intensified anger (this observation became so common to me that I coined term “Madderal”), these same experts said the Adderall was “unmasking” the bi-polar. Huh? What?
I kept asking questions, gathering data, and drawing my own conclusions. It made no sense to me that people manifested alleged bi-polar traits only after taking an amphetamine-class stimulant. Where was the logic?
My book was one of the first popular titles on Adult ADHD to emphasize that ADHD in fact can be associated with a greater degree of frustration and irritability — sometimes born of frustration (living with untreated/unrecognized ADHD can be very frustrating!) but also neurobiologically based. Including poor self-regulation of emotions. (Poor self-regulation being the phrase that describes global ADHD challenges.) And to be on the alert for the misdiagnosis of bi-polar.
Recently, Dr. Barkley has been talking about ADHD and emotional dysregulation, and he is one of the most respected true ADHD experts. So, I’m happy to see that my instincts were right, and the alleged ADHD experts opining years ago couldn’t have bee more wrong.
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Hi Gina,
Yes, I was on mood stabilizers before the adderall. I actually was highly independent and didn’t want to be on meds. 10 years ago I got put on prozac and for many years thereafter said ‘every thing is fine’ ….
finally, I opened up a little and said everything wasn’t fine so we added some lamictal. Better, but I still didn’t unfold the whole mess. I was still holding on to the notion that i really didn’t need meds.A pretty good binge of partying (months, alcohol) ended with a DWI. It was then that I FINALLY gave the shrink the full info. Oops, not all yet
he increased the lamictal and it helped a lot with the depression and anger. It took many more months before I finally said wth and typed it all out….I spelled anything and everything that might be of use to him. So, he added abilify and I was so much better.BUT, that irritability, short temper MEAN guy kept showing up.
That’s when I sought out the psychologist.
In a way, I’m a bit mad that the psychiatrist didn’t find it. I had been with him for 7 years…..As I said, I just got the RIGHT dx 4 months ago. I’m 40!!!! and my wife and I split 4 years ago.I’m just now realizing the crap I dredged her threw. I mean I knew about the ‘big’ parts but reading your book, I’m seeing all the little, constant, unending hell…..
Well I sidetracked a bit there but I think it was pertinent…
I have to take notes on these kinds of things and the first book I read after the dx was Dr. Brown’s book ‘Taking Charge of Adult ADHD’
What you said is interesting to what I typed in my notes:
“I had the stereotypical understanding of ADHD as an inattentive learning disorder which isn’t me.
So far the part that I relate to the most is the emotional dysregulation. My short temper, irritation and impatience…Amygdala hijack.”Also I had this:
“Self Regulation of emotions: Biggest area of impairment. Impulsive emotional reactions.Can’t put on the brakes. exaggerated emotions that’s not keeping with the situation. that can make social situations difficult for me. They effect my ability to get things done. Short temper, irritable, impatient. Sensitive. Unfairness”I have a better understanding of how complex ADHD sypmtoms can be or not be or morph and intertwine. For me, this dysregulation of emotions IS the main one. I believe all my other stuff branches from it. It’s my litmus test for whether or not the medication is therapeutic or not.
I know that monster….I’ve longed to be rid of him…
It’s been quite the eye opener to find out there was many more tendrils to this monstrosity than I ever knew.
I’m just thankful that I found the heart of it and a way to quell it’s horrific ability to manifest.I’ll admit that now I’m curious about the bipolar dx and all those meds. Of course I’m not going to drop them because I’m doing so well. However, I do wonder if I would have started with a ADHD dx ten years ago would I have ended up with a bipolar dx and be on all these meds.
Sorry for prattling on….
Scott-
Hi Scott,
No need to apologize for “prattling on.” I have every confidence that someone, sometime, will read your comment and a light bulb will go off in his or her head. It happens all the time!
You know, one thing I’ve learned since falling into “ADHD+ World” is that the psychiatric labels can be very iffy.
I’ve learned that many specialists operate in a “stove pipe” mentality. That is, the bi-polar specialists will often dismiss ADHD in order to claim more territory for bi-polar. Same with the sleep specialists. The “educational specialists.” The audiologists. Good grief….the list goes on and on. In part it has to do with the nature of specialties (“deep and narrow”), but it can also spring from the competition for grants, pharma targets, etc.
So, I encourage people to focus less on labels and more on their symptoms, especially what RX makes things worse/better. It often involves lots of experimentation — hopefully, in the hands of a physician who carefully monitors the situation.
Example: A few years ago, my husband used to habitually clear his throat. It was truly loud and obnoxious — not just to me but to his co-workers. He was convinced it was due to post-nasal drip. From talking to other adults with ADHD, I’ve learned they had a similar “tic” and thus were diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome. That put them on an entirely different treatment track, typically with neurologists — and often not as successful as my husband’s treatment track. He was never diagnosed with Tourettes but his “tic” has resolved with comprehensive medical treatment for ADHD.
So, I am with you in wondering what if a physician had picked up your ADHD dx ten years ago. Who knows, though. The medication options for ADHD weren’t as sophisticated then as they are today. And they might have exacerbated your problems, thus turning you off from the idea of ADHD forever. Also, medications such as Lamictal are commonly used for people with ADHD — in smaller doses than is generally considered therapeutic for the Rx originally (so-called “off-label” uses).
In short, it’s kind of the Wild West! Best to pay attention, remain skeptical, and keep learning!
best,
gP.S. I like Tom Brown’s book, too. And I enjoy his lectures. He is one of my favorite ADHD experts, though not as well known among the public because he is not as self-promotional as some whose knowledge is inferior to his. That’s the way it goes, unfortunately.
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Hi again Gina and happy thanksgiving!
I hear you on labels and specialists…and you mentioned sleep specialist! I couldn’t believe it when your book mentioned a link between ADHD, apnea and restless legs. Holy cow that blew me away! Mark me as one of the ones that this happened to. I even had the sleep studies, used a mask and all that… Those sleep issues came out of nowhere…no history. I lost some weight and that seemed to resolve the apnea (mostly) and I think the adderall has helped with the legs and sleep in general.
I had the same thing happen with ulcerative colitis 9 years ago. Absolutely, no digestive issues and wham! UC. That’s always bothered me. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was also a link. I had back surgery two months prior to the UC symptoms and never liked that coincidence. It could have been the weeks of recovery and being ‘useless’ around the house, specifically with a two year old son and not being able to help. I think it put me emotionally ‘out there’ and took it’s toll on my gut.
The bipolar dx has always seemed a little flimsy. Depression for sure but hypomania and mania not so much… The episodes classified as manic came out of extreme boredom and wanting to have fun like I did in college…
I’d classify them under ‘stupid’ At my next meeting, I plan to ask my psychiatrist about his current opinion on the bipolar dx. Well maybe I won’t. Like you said, it really doesn’t matter the label(s) (and I’m REALLY not big on having or giving them). I’m definitely getting the proper medication now.
So, yes, I can be marked as one that needed a stimulant to rid myself of horrendous short temper and irritability. Even with all those other powerful mood stabilizer medications, it never went away. As an aside about adhd symptoms, I would get a warning when this evil attitude would rear it’s head. If I was about to say something mean, degrading or totally inappropriate, I would have this very, very brief moment of blackness. It was like the curtains closing for a millisecond. At some point I recognized ‘when’ it was happening. That’s when I ‘could’ use it as a warning in the future. Well…that never happened. Every single time the curtains would close and tell me not to say/do the upcoming action I’d still do it. I’d just override that roadblock and blast right into the person. Ugh…I really don’t like ‘that’ guy.
As I said, that’s my litmus to know if my adhd is chemically in check. That was the main one for me because my son is 11 and has taken some pointless, meaningless and downright mean verbal abuse. I HAD to get rid of that. It was just so powerful… Now my job is to further learn about the other unwelcomed traits I exhibit and hopefully be the best I can be. My relationship with my son is priority but my girlfriend and I aren’t exactly stable. Root cause….yep ADHD. She has it too and from what I can gather it seems her symptoms are direct opposites of mine. Where I’ve compensated or don’t present, she’s impaired and vice versa. So we kind of push each other’s buttons lol! It might be TMI but we are thankfully both hypersexual so we are fine as long as we keep our mouths shut and stay in the bedroom! ;-D
I might elaborate on our relationship if I find a blog entry where it’s a bit more pertinent. Once again, I’ve cluttered this one up.
Thanks for the conversation.
Scott-
Hey Scott,
Are you kidding about the clutter? I love comments like yours — honest, thoughtful, and no doubt helpful to other readers.
Re: your girlfriend also having ADHD. I’m always pointing out that people with ADHD are not clones, that there are many “angles” to ADHD, not to mention the rest of an individual’s personality and background. And never is the “not clones” aspect more true than when two people with ADHD are in a relationship. Then you can see how really different the manifestations can be.
As for the hypersexual part….nothing anyone says can shock me now; it’s been 13 years of hearing hundreds of intimate stories.
I do know one “dual hypersexual” couple with ADHD. They found themselves in bankruptcy, because they were minding the bedroom more than the checkbook.
But hey, many other people with ADHD are assexual, or they grow bored with the same partner after a few months. So, sounds like you’re lucky in that particular match-up department. That “moment of blackness” is so interesting. I think I’ve seen that on some individuals’ faces, right before. The eyes go a bit flat and then steely-scary.
The important thing is to notice this and view it as “data” — not a moral judgment. Something you can change. Many people don’t know this, or can’t understand that this is possible. So, give yourself credit for persevering and not accepting status quo.
I write another blog, as a volunteer service for CHADD (the national nonprofit for ADHD). It’s monthly, and focuses on couples issues. By that I mean, ADHD issues as they can affect adult relationships — sex, listening, money, sleep, and more.
take care,
g
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Hi all. I was diagnosed with ADD by family TP and briefly took a stimulant years ago. It helped me focus and greatly alleviated the constant debilitating anxiety and worry about everything. Cannot remember why I stopped taking it. After retirement a couple of years ago the symptoms are much worse with racing thoughts, and just about all the difficulties described by others with relationships. TP’s over the years rx’d drugs for anxiety and depression but they did not really help.
At urging of family I finally saw a psychologist who was not sure if I had ADD or bipolar but definitely had a mind ” running like a motor at very high RPM’s”. He said if I told a psychiatrist I was to see that I was on an antidepressant I would not have any trouble getting diagnosed probably with bipolar. Surprise surprise, the psychiatrist diagnosis was bipolar after just a few questions and lamictal was prescribed titratiing up. A “rash” was present at 50 mg am and 50 mg pm actually manifested by huge red wheals with yellow centers, yuk! Called the doc and lamictal was backed down by 25 mg. Now after another increase very large wheals appeared on scalp. Incidentally have been taking Zyrtec every day for months for allergies. Hate to think about the severity of the reaction if I had not been taking the Zyrtec. Also I should state that I have had severe fits of anger and hostility and negative thinking with the lamotrigine. The doc denies these things could be a side effect of the med. I do not agree.
Meanwhile last week I saw a new psychologist much more familiar with ADD and bipolar. After much in depth questioning and explaining the difference in bipolar mood disorder and ADD she believes I have ADD not bipolar. I agree as the symptoms and signs of ADD have been present since very young childhood and I do not have mood swings lasting weeks or months at a time. The differnces in mood are an immediate reaction to situations, along with zoning out on conversations, being impatient and other ADD symptoms. The new psychologist is with the same large group and plans to talk with the psychiatrist about this being ADD.
I would welcome coming off the lamotrigine and being treated for the ADD. Comments are welcomed please.
Thank you.
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Hi Libby,
First of all, it’s great that you considered the opinions of your family. Family isn’t always right, but they can often offer important “data” that should at least be considered instead of dismissed out of hand, as too many people do.
Second, I think you should stick with this new psychologist and see how it benefits you.
The sad fact is that there are many “fiefdoms” among psychiatric specialties. Some “bi-polar disorder specialists” will never see ADHD. And I suppose the same is true of ADHD specialists, though in my experience I’ve seen them to be more respectful of the possible comorbidities, including bi-polar disorder.
On a side note, I actually know one of the scientists who developed Lamictal, and he was adamant in that it should be “started low, titrated slowly” — as all psychotropic medications should be but, sadly, often are not.
It could be that a small dose of Lamictal, along with ADHD treatment, might work well for you. That is the case for many people with ADHD I know.
But if you do have ADHD, it’s best to follow a rational protocol for its medical treatment, as outlined in my book: Is it You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0981548709/ref=s9_sims_gw_s1_p14_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=0Y9XTBJ1CB14HVJ3H570&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846
Good luck and keep us posted!
Gina
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Hi Gina,
Thank you so much for your very helpful response. I waited to respond to your comments – wanted to see the psychologist first. When I saw the psychologist yesterday she asked many more probing questions which I welcome. She said she thinks I have ADD with Gen. Anxiety DO which I have read can be a comorbidity of ADD. I can certainly see why this occurs! she said the psychiatrist I am seeing will listen to her comments.
Thank you for your insight re: Lamictal and great that you know one of the scientists who developed the drug. Hmmm interesting that folks with ADHD can be helped with a small dose of it along with ADHD tx. No ADD meds yet but excercise recommended by psychologist until apptmt 2 weeks from now. Lamictal now at 50 mg am and pm.
I have to tell you I had a “meltdown” last night while cooking dinner for my mother and husband and I. Things spiraled out of control – could not focus enough to follow the steps calmly to cook three simple dishes at one time – was running back and forth in the kitchen and could not remember what step was next, things kept falling off the countertop during the cooking process. Became so distracted by so many things and so frustrated that similar to Scott’s comments this monster anger exploded from me complete with yelling and stomping of feet etc. My poor husband was so horrified and quiet I felt so sorry for him but could not stop the rage until it was “spent”. This is unacceptable to me and certainly to my poor husband and the lamictal has certainly not helped this monster.
Hard to believe years ago in school IQ was 138 when I get so distracted and irritable and angry. Looking forward to reading your book – does it deal with the person with ADHD approach as well as the loved ones who have to put up with it?
Sure hope psychologist and psychiatrist can get together re: treating the ADD. Really do not know how much more my husband (or I) can take of this! I understand that a rational protocol is needed.
Thank you again and hope you have a good Christmas if you do not have a chance to write before then
Libby
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Hi Libby,
It sounds like you are on a better path now, having been understood by your psychologist.
I’m sorry to hear about the meltdown — for you and your husband.
I hope you both are seeing that as a sign that your current treatment isn’t working — as “data” — and not as a volitional act.
Yes, I wrote my book as much for adults with ADHD as their partners. I consider it one of the best guides to comprehensive understanding of ADHD symptoms as well as “late-diagnosis emotional baggage” and knowing how to pursue good treatment strategies. Therapy, medication, etc. It is both a primer and a reference book.
It is “written to” the partners of adults with ADHD for three reasons:
1. Before my book, no book explained these Adult ADHD issues to the loved ones and validated their experiences.
2. I wanted to reach outside of the population that already knew about ADHD to spread the news that “couples troubles” might involve one or both partners having ADHD. Hence the title, “Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?”
2. It is very cumbersome to find language to address both partners at once. I detest the term “non-ADHD partner” for a whole host of reasons, specifically because sometimes there are TWO adults with ADHD in the relationship. But also, because I find it stupid to define someone by what they are not (as far as we know!).
So, you can read the reviews on Amazon from the many adults with ADHD who consider it one of the best books on the topic.
Good luck!
g -
P.S. re: clarifying my comment on Lamictal.
Even in small doses, it is not considered a “typical” treatment for adults with ADHD.
But, as you know, ADHD has many “traveling companions,” and sometimes another medication is added to the stimulant to treat the full range of symptoms.
Sometimes Lamictal helps. Sometimes an SSRI. Sometimes one of the many other choices, depending upon the individual.
Happy holidays to you!
g
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to all speted holle life ad. Bashed up as a kid have one gifed. Peple all ways tell me there problems. How can lealat to this out there. ? Sorry about spelling.i am pissed and goiing thow a split from wife. What nexed. I have two smart kids thay can talk way before 5 years thank god.
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I have suffered from add since elementary school in the mid 80s. A time when add was rarely heard of or talked about. I was tested for learning disabilities & they concluded that I was a day dreamer and needed to pay more attention. The end. I constantly felt frustrated, but managed to finish high school with average grades. I really wonder if I might have been v-Vic. had I been treated. I excelled working in accounting at a construction company after high school making $40k by 20 years old. I love to learn hands on but cannot by reading. I attended community college after HS while working ft. I compeleted my AAS (2 yr degree) 11 years later with honors. I only took a class or 2 at a time bc its all i could manage sucessfully. I cannot accept less that perfection from myself. I despise Psych who think failure=ADD. People with ADD can force themselves to succeed. Their success comes at higher cost to them! More hours & effort. Reading an assignment many times, breaking it into sections, outlining in a simple version they can process. It spent entire days working on one English assignment & crying over my frustration. My husband had to proofread every paper. I’m notorious for skipping words, misspelling, skipping grammar, & using the wrong version of words (there/they’re/their). I hate it bc it makes me look dumb & I’m far from it. TIP: I was able to explain the story I read to my step-daughter verbally much easier than I could write about it. I really struggled putting it on paper. Have someone be a sound board & help organize thoughts. Then its easier to put it on paper.
I had my first child at 23 years old & my life fell apart. I suffered from ppd, severe anxiety, depression, and rages. My husband has graciously stood by side & I’m so thankful for that. I went to therapy & took Wellbutrin. After a year I finally felt some relief. I came off the WB to have a 2nd child. I was amazing during my pregnancy. So relaxed & in control. I lost 10lb of body fat (he was a healthy 7.7 lb baby). After his birth, I slowly went down hill feeling fatigued, overwhelmed, unable to lose weight, & unfocused. I went to an D.O. & she ran every test possible. The only result was extremely high inflammation. I then went to a rheumatologist who ruled out auto immunes. I was left with no choice but to accept depression as a diagnosis although I didn’t feel sad. Prozac caused my breast to leak colostrum, so I went back to Wellbutrin. It helped some but I never felt good again. A few years later I was given phentermine for weightloss. Oh my, I slept so good and woke on my own when the sun came up. I was more focused and functioned more like I did in my better days. So I went to a psyc. You have bipolar I they said. Well, here I am two years later. I’ve explored all medications, and had so much cognitive therapy I could teach a class. The dead end has left me feeling doomed in this hell. Yesterday I started a trial of Adderol SR. It was the best day I’ve had in the half of my life. I parented with love & patience. I didn’t feel confused, overwhelmed, or as if my life was beyond my control. It all stopped for a day and I was me! I connected with my children emotionally for the first time in a while. WHY ARE THESE PSYC SO DEAF? After being treated for bpd the add symptoms continued to torture me for years & I had to demand/throw a tantrum for them to treat add after researching it myself! I think this article was DEAD ON in situations like mine.
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Candy, you ask “WHY ARE THESE PSYCH SO DEAF”?
That is an excellent question, because the human costs are so terribly high.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Gina
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I am so excited finding this site!
This is my husband ADHD – Bipolar. where does one find a doctor that really knows what they are doing? Has a family doctor and a bag full of meds which none have helped – but mostly due to his own negligence. We are currently seperated due to his crazy over the top anger and vicious verbiage – cuts me to the core and then shreds me.
He is wanting to get better but still has the mentally of just taking a pill – but I know there is much more than that.
I want my marriage but not at any cost – but with the right path to a healthy loving as sain as possible relationship.
Guidance please.
We live in Fort Worth/Dallas area.
Thank you all for sharing your lives with me/us, as you may have just saved a life from its own self destruction.
Tina-
Hi Tina,
If your husband truly does have ADHD+Bi-polar disorder — and isn’t simply misdiagnosed with one or suffers from something else, such as a head injury– it can be very tricky finding a competent treating physician. Surely, it’s going to require more than the average family doctor.
You might know there is “much more than taking a pill” to getting better, but if he doesn’t start with the right pill, he might not be able to implement other steps.
The best guidance I can give you is to educate yourself. You might want to read Dr. Daniel Amen’s book “Healing ADD.” He talks about the overlap with some other conditions, such as bipolar, and which medications might be indicated or contraindicated.
Good luck,
Gina
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