Linda H. writes:
Hi Ms. Pera,
I just wanted to pop in and let you know that I have a copy of your new book that I just started reading over the weekend. I have heard so much about this book, and since I do have ADD (I prefer the ADD vs. ADHD) I thought perhaps I will see myself and/or my husband in this book.
I am also wondering if there is a way to get to the forums that are mentioned in the book, assuming that you have an online forum for discussion and help for either the person with ADD or their partner. I would love to participate in same if that is an available option. Please let me know if there is a way to make this happen. I will continue reading, and I hope to find solutions to my marital “issues” that both of us cause so that we can get off of our own rollercoaster and start to have a real marriage. Yeah, that would be really nice.
Congratulations! You have already cleared the biggest obstacles to calming the roller coaster. You’ve learned about ADHD, and you are willing to seek information sources and support.
Whether you call them support groups or discussion groups, one of the biggest benefits you’ll find at these gatherings is other people who “get it.” You won’t need to explain that ADHD is real and that it’s presented real challenges in your life; hearing others’ stories will validate your experience. And, once you know that you aren’t alone, you can break through the isolation that might have prevented you from seeking solutions.
One note of caution: Along with some great support and information, you might find some group who are have their facts confused. That’s why it’s good to rely on solid sources of information from books, articles, and factsheets, such as the free “What We Know – Info Sheets on AD/HD” published by the National Resource Center on AD/HD.
Now, to start finding support, first check to see if there is a CHADD chapter in your area. Just enter your zip code on this page to see a listing of chapters in your state. Remember that CHADD chapters are run entirely by volunteers. If there’s not a group in your area, please think about starting one!
PLEASE NOTE: CHADD members also have access to CHADD’s online support groups.
For more online support, here are some options specifically for the partners of adults with AD/HD:
ADHD Partner – The format is a Yahoogroup: You send an e-mail to the entire group and anyone can respond. The “conversation” is on your own time. (You send off your post and go about your business. Come back later to check responses.) You can receive individual e-mails or a daily digest, or you can read at the website. I moderate this wonderfully supportive group, with the help of many co-moderators whose partners (and often children) have AD/HD. One of our veteran moderators has AD/HD as well.
ADD Spouse – Portions of this web-based discussion forum are open to the public, with password-protected sections for members only. “We work toward supporting one another by sharing stories, tips, coping strategies and understanding,” say long-time moderators (and my friends) Elizabeth Weathers and Diane Hartson.
Here are more online options for Adults with AD/HD, two discussion boards that are privately owned but available to the public:
I’ve read some very insightful posts on both of these forums. Moreover, they demonstrate quite clearly that ADHD is not a one-size-fits-all condition.
I hope you find these resources helpful!