partners of adults with ADHD

Introduction from the book Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? (continued from the previous post)

Same Meeting Room, the Following Tuesday, 8 PM

Be careful talking about good intentions to newcomers at this week’s gathering! It’s the same room but a very different crowd. The people gathered here tonight aren’t adults with ADHD; they are their partners. And most have had it with good intentions. They are also done with being doormat and “dumpee,” warden and watchdog, crisis manager and caretaker, and a parent instead of a partner.

Ironically, the two meetings that take place one week apart—one for adults with ADHD and the other for the partners of adults with ADHD— typically show little overlap. That is, one partner or the other in a couple is either “in denial” about ADHD or feels no need to learn about it. It’s too bad, because when couples act as a team in learning about ADHD, they tend to speed through the learning curve—with fewer bumps and bruises, too.

The group assembled tonight, though, has come seeking knowledge. They also seek clarity and hope that they can somehow stabilize their lives with partners who seem focused on destabilization. Until Read the rest of this entry »