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I am a diagnosed with ADHD. I have accepted the diagnosis only after realizing that focusing on myself and exercise is not the only answer. True it took me 50 years to discover this, I feel the combination of my medication, exercise, and focusing has proven to be successful. At least in my mind. From the first day I took medication, I realized how effective the results could be. Upon my first dosage,
I was accused of being hyper, loud, entertaining, and yet, disorganized and easily distracted. Since the drugs, I hear myself, and have just as much sensitivity to my own vollume. I am now more aware of my ranting. A good arguement was like food for me. Now, I don’t have to be in the ring with every discussion, and I can focus on a discussion that I am engaged in.
With all my celebration, I have never been more ostracized and condemned by my wife. I can’t celebrate because my wife is obsessed with blaming me for a failed marriage. Sometimes I think that while I was not being treated, her obsessions were much more tolerable and I was able to deal with them.
My wife has lots of support from your website and classes. Theres a lot of sympathy to the wives out there.
I am the happy owner of a company that has been in business for 30 years. My employees tend to stick with me and like me. I have never had a moving violation nor an accident. I never, never swear. Don’t smoke, don’t drink, never eat sugar, and no drugs. Just the opposite of my wife.
Sorry ladies, not all the stories are what they seem. I think you have to let yourself take some responsibility for your life, and stop blaming your partner on your unhappiness. We are not all the abusers. We do heal. We do make ammends.
My psychiatrist and therapist do agree that my therapy is not only working, but is a success story.
I am celebrating in my heart. Too bad no ones there to toast with me…….. -
So many lovely stories of how it should work. I am 3 years out of a 17 year marriage. Seldom touched here is the combination of ADD & BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) in women. Not a roller coaster, more like the house of horror. Rather than investigate (or fess up, she knew) her own problems when I insisted on diagnostics for our son.. my wife opted for a high conflict divorce.
I have read so many nice stories but no longer believe. My son’s therapist verifies a 70%+ divorce rate & 80% high conflict situation. The meshing of the affected women with the children only creates problems for the kids & guarantees another generational repeat performance. I hate ADD && what it has done to me & my family.
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Hi Robert,
I’m so sorry to hear of your situation. Unfortunately, your story is not the first I’ve heard along these lines.
ADHD is all over the map when it comes to severity of symptoms. But when it’s particularly severe or when it’s complicated by co-existing conditions such as borderline personality disorder, it can sometimes prove irrevocably devastating to the partner, the children, and of course, ultimately, to the person who has it. The best you can do is protect yourself and your children — not always easily done when family-court professionals don’t understand the dynamics at work.
You’re right. ADHD + Borderline Personality Disorder is an important angle, but unfortunately there is little research in this area that I could draw upon.
I recently attended the American Psychiatric Conference in San Francisco, where I was shocked to see an entire program devoid of lectures on ADHD but plenty on Borderline Personality Disorder — all completely missing the connection to ADHD. When that is missed, so are the opportunities for effective treatment. And that is just one more weak link in our dysfunctional mental healthcare system.All I can offer readers is a forum and an opportunity to share your story. If you’d like to write up your experience — changing identifying details, of course — I’ll be glad to post it. It might help someone else come out of the fog.
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