“When the average ADHDer gets hit with the news that their life partner—and frequently, the point of stability in the marriage—is ill or terminally ill, more than the relationship has been threatened. Not only are we fa
cing the loss of someone we love—and when an ADHDer loves, it goes deep—our whole stability is threatened.”
So began an e-mail from my friend Tricia, written in response to my request for advice for James, a reader of this blog. He had written to ask me how to best help care for his ill partner without letting his ADHD symptoms thwart his best intentions. I quickly responded with my best off-the-cuff advice, but then I turned to a real expert: Tricia.
James’ was a timely e-mail, because even though Tricia’s beloved husband had just passed away, she was already turning her thoughts to this important topic: How to help prepare the adult with ADHD who suddenly becomes the caregiver to an ill partner, a charge that can involve immense organizational skills, dealing with physicians’s sometimes prickly egos, hospital rules, conflicting advice from specialists and, oh, all the things that the partner used to do, such as bill-paying and other logistics? Not to mention dealing with personal grief reactions and a frightfully shortening window of time together. Read the rest of this entry »
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