Guest Essays

Salvador Dali's "Raphaelesque Head Exploding" (click to see larger image)

What does it feel like to have ADHD in a world that doesn’t always “meet you halfway” and can in fact feel devoid of empathy?

What does it feel like to never meet anyone’s expectations or to be constantly admonished for what you’ve done wrong but seldom praised for what you have worked so hard — five times as hard as most people — to do right?

This guest essay below (in the black type) from L. Friesen should give you an idea.

But first some background. For  many years, I’ve read the online “rants” from the partners of adults with ADHD.  A rant is a post wherein the writer releases long-simmering frustration. Typically, the most tortured rants come from those who are living with adults “in denial” — that is, those who cannot or will not see the adverse impact of their ADHD symptoms on everyone involved. Sometimes these adults with ADHD are so lost in their own symptoms they blame everyone else around them for their problems.  It is not a pretty picture.

Yet there exists a parallel phenomenon among adults with ADHD who must deal on a daily basis with people who are “in denial” about ADHD and the challenges they, these adults with ADHD, are up against. The denial sword cuts both ways.

Even though I do facilitate a face-to-face group for adults with ADHD (and receive many e-mails from readers of my book who themselves have ADHD), I’ve not been privy to rants from adults with ADHD (excluding those who flame me as being a Pharma Shill or other anti-psychiatry expletives). Perhaps the adults in our local group are simply polite or else their friends and loved ones are more enlightened about ADHD. I’m not sure, but I intend to ask at the next meeting.

Recently, I received this e-mail from L. Friesen, a woman who had read some of my posts on an ADHD discussion forum:

Months ago I wrote to you about wanting to send you something I was writing. I realised that I was having difficulty articulating what I felt needed to be said. It’s taken months of going back and forth with it and it’s evolved from where I first started.

It’s not all that polished and I apologise for that. I find there are few in the helping area that I truly respect and you write with a sensitivity that is often very touching.  I’m curious about your response to what I wrote.

My response: a  visceral kick to the gut. I’ve always felt empathy for the challenges of adults with ADHD, including the pervasive misperceptions and myths about it, because I made a point to educate myself. But still this essay’s raw and heartfelt emotion stayed with me for days.  My gratitude goes to the writer for allowing me to share it with you, whether her words resonate for your personal experience or help you to understand the people with ADHD in your life.  Now to the essay:

I’ve observed that prefacing what you’re going to say with “I’m just venting” means you are declaring immunity from criticism for being irrational or unfair. You can be irresponsible about the casualties that read what you spew or be as bigoted as you want.

I’m invoking this “right” for myself. You will simply have to put up with my impertinence because as you already know venting is not something allowed to those who are neurologically questionable. For us it is called “making excuses” or, gotta love this one, “being negative.” I don’t care to be objective because it’s my life and my experience, which isn’t an objective experience. I’m out of control, I’m breaking the rules. This is my “oppositional defiance” and not a legitimate “vent.” Legitimacy is only for the normal. So on with my vent in all its offensive glory. Read the rest of this entry »

Before my friend Jack was diagnosed with ADHD, he used to call himself “Sluggo the Wonder Boy.”  Highly educated, hard-working, and his heart set on big achievements, Jack still had problems around being, well, sluggish.

For example, when he sat in a chair, within five minutes he invariably slumped and slid  until his head was on the back of the chair and his legs were stretched out, eyes half-closed unless something thoroughly grabbed his attention. It was a miracle of physics that he didn’t slide right onto the floor. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was chronically sleep deprived, but he slept well and regularly.

Only after ADHD was diagnosed and he began taking stimulant medication did he start sitting in a more erect and alert manner.  Moreover, his pupils became fully visible. Finally, I could see that his eyes were a lovely shade of brown. Who knew?

Does Jack have a different type of ADHD?  A sluggish type? I can’t say. But I can offer you this guest column from Robert F. Eme, Ph.D., on the possibility of a new type of ADHD that focuses on something called Sluggish Cognitive Tempo. Read the rest of this entry »

Part I of “All About Medications for ADHD” focused on common questions and answers provided by ADHD specialist Ted Mandelkorn, MD, of Puget Sound Behavioral Health, a Seattle-based clinic that treats teens, children and adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and related conditions.

In Part II, below, Dr. Mandelkorn details the categories of medications along with dosing, pros, cons, and potential side effects.  The more you know about your choices, the better you can choose a knowledgeable prescribing physician and work with that physician for the best possible treatment outcome for yourself or your loved one.

A PHYSICIAN’S PERSPECTIVE

Theodore Mandelkorn, MD

2010

PART TWO: OVERVIEW OF MEDICATIONS Read the rest of this entry »

It’s hard to overstate it: Please be a smart mental healthcare consumer when it comes to ADHD medical treatment.

That means not simply assuming that your prescribing physician, no matter how much ADHD expertise is professed, truly knows what’s what.  Learn the basics so you can “Trust but Verify.”

Ted Mandelkorn, MD

For all the information flooding the Internet  now about Adult ADHD, it’s still hard to find a solid overview of the medications used to treat it. So, I contacted Ted Mandelkorn, M.D. (pictured right).  Had he updated the excellent handout from a lecture I’d attended years ago? Indeed he had. Even better: He gave me permission to share it with ADHD Roller Coaster readers.  The first installment is below. Part II will follow shortly.

An “early adapter” of ADHD expertise and treatment, Dr. Mandelkorn is the parent of a child with ADHD and has ADHD himself. He trained in pediatrics and adolescent medicine, and he was a mental health fellow under Dr. Michael Rothenberg at the University of Washington. He has been in practice for 35 years, since 2001 at his clinic, Puget Sound Behavioral Medicine.

A PHYSICIAN’S PERSPECTIVE

Theodore Mandelkorn, MD

2010

PART ONE

• INTRODUCTION
• WHO SHOULD TAKE MEDICATIONS, AND WHY?
• WHAT IMPROVEMENT SHOULD BE SEEN?
• WHO SHOULD PRESCRIBE MEDICATIONS?
• MEDICAL TRIALS
• WHAT IS THE CORRECT MEDICATION?
• WHAT IS THE CORRECT DOSAGE?
• WHAT ABOUT “NATURAL” THERAPIES?
• SUMMARY

Read the rest of this entry »

This week: A guest post from ADHD coach Cynthia Hammer, founder and former executive director of Seattle-based non-profit ADD Resources (click here to visit her blog, “Pinnacle Coaching”).

I’ve always enjoyed Cynthia’s personal essays (look for more to come), and we both appreciate the thoughtful perspectives of Judith Warner, who writes the “Domestic Disturbances” column for The New York Times.
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Do you ever get discouraged about all the bad and inaccurate press about ADHD? That it is a condition that doesn’t exist? That those of us who have ADHD are seeking the easy way out by taking medicine or that we parents give dangerous medicine to children for a made-up condition?

I just finished reading an article by Judith Warner, a columnist for The New York Times who planned to write a book on these kinds of topics, but she kept putting off writing the book—and she finally realized why. Read the rest of this entry »

Jeff discovered he has ADHD at about age 46 –”not the best of times to find that out,” he notes, “certainly not after 46 years of having bad habits solidify.”

Still, he dedicated himself to understanding the full depths of what it means to have ADHD, including learning to recognize problematic behaviors while they were occurring and modifying them for more desirable results.

Fortunately for his readers, Jeff has for several years shared his personal and philosophical musings on ADHD at his blog, Jeff’s A.D.D. Mind. I discovered it while writing my book and, frankly, feeling overwhelmed with the-then omnipresent rosy talk of ADHD’s gifts. The individuals and families I knew who were affected by ADHD were truly struggling; sure, they needed assurance and encouragement, but didn’t they also need realistic information and strategies? (My husband didn’t ease my worries about the book’s reception by jokingly offering to move us to a missile silo in Nebraska.) Jeff’s honest, thoughtful essays validated my approach at a critical juncture. Thanks Jeff! Here is one of my favorites from his archives:

The A.D.D.er Cannot Understand Life
Because the A.D.D.er Cannot Understand Time

Jeff

To make sense out of life, one must also be able to make sense of time; that is, understanding one requires understanding the other. In our everyday world, they are inseparable: Life requires time, and time has meaning because of life. The life of the human being is understood to be “a life” because it occurs in time over time. Read the rest of this entry »

The best part of having a blog is being able to share with you wonderful essays written by other people. After all, my journalistic background is as an editor — the person who assembles and polishes the entire magazine or newspaper. Recognizing talent is what I do best!

My friend Lew Mills, PhD, MFT is a San Diego-based psychotherapist with remarkably thoughtful perspectives on ADHD. Having it himself and having children with ADHD, Lew knows of what he speaks. I’ve always enjoyed his writing, and I’m pleased that he’s allowed me to share this one — about why being “special” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Think Different Differently

by Lew Mills, PhD, MFT

What is the most universal appeal in commercial advertising?

OK, yes, sex. Sure, I’d like to believe that the model in the beer ad is really flirting specifically with me. But really, our culture’s most beckoning appeal is to be “different.” The Apple Computer campaign, advocating that you “think different”, exploits it directly. Read the rest of this entry »