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Guest Essays

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“One Man’s” Story Touches This Mom

January 15, 2012 in ADHD and Parenthood, Guest Essays | 6 comments

Last month I ran a guest post, One Man’s Rugged Reality of ADD, by Dylan Rosen. As the outpouring of supportive comments demonstrates, this first-person account of late-diagnosis ADD touched many minds and hearts among ADHD Roller Coaster blog readers. The ensuing comments are all well worth reading, but the one from “Brandy” stood out for me in particular, because this late-diagnosis adult and mother faced some hard realities that many might prefer to avoid.

I often hear from parents in distress and even angry about the school pointing out the red flags of ADHD in their child. They never saw the signs, these parents say; how dare the school suggest such a thing!  Of course it’s true that schools or teachers sometimes overstep their bounds and/or mis-perceive behavior as ADHD-related. In my experience as a longtime advocate, however, I more typically hear stories of schools denying the reality of ADHD. The first question I ask of the parents who write to me with such concerns: “Is it possible that you or your co-parent have ADHD, too? And maybe that’s why you didn’t realize that ADHD might be an issue for your child at school?” This question sometimes comes as a shock, and isn’t always well-received.  That’s why I so admired the compassionately courageous path of inquiry followed by Brandy, below, as explained in her comment on Dylan’s story: Read the rest of this entry »

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ADHD and Sleep: Your Elusive Dream?

January 23, 2011 in ADHD and Health, ADHD medication, Essays on ADHD, Guest Essays, The Basics | 41 comments

When I asked Australian writer Matthew Bush to contribute a guest column on his experiences with sleep and ADHD (below), I expected a well-written and engaging piece. What I didn’t expect was a happy ending, too, and perhaps a blueprint to help others.

ADHD’s potential challenges to sleep include the behavioral (putting off sleep because anything is more interesting than lying in the dark waiting for nothing to happen) and the physiological (Restless Legs Syndrome, Sleep Apnea, dysregulated circadian rhythm, etc.). Here is a post from my other blog on ADHD and sleep. Look to the latest issue of CHADD’s Attention Magazine for my article on the topic, a prelude to a short upcoming book: The ADHD Roller Coaster Guide to Sleep. Now to Matt’s guest column!

Sleep, Finally.

By Matthew Bush

I was the 11 year old ninja master.

I had to be awake for school in six hours.

The creaking kitchen floorboards raised the hair on the back of my neck. The house was dark. I could hear snoring.Good. Dad was a heavy sleeper and that meant mum had her earplugs in. Still, there was risk.

The adrenaline pacified me. I inhaled slowly, my pulse pounded through the swell of blood in my ears. I opened the cabinet door slowly and clicked the torch on. I was on a mission.

If I was successful, I’d take my bounty back to my room and quietly self-medicate with caffeine and carbohydrates. Then I’d curl up on my beanbag and read.

My official bedtime was 8:30. I was allowed to read for half an hour, then my dad would tell me to go to sleep. I rarely did. Eventually, my lamp and torch batteries got confiscated. That just added another objective to my mission dossier. Read the rest of this entry »

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When Adults with ADHD Become Caregivers

October 13, 2010 in ADHD and Health, ADHD and Relationships, Guest Essays, Practical Solutions | 12 comments

“When the average ADHDer gets hit with the news that their life partner—and frequently, the point of stability in the marriage—is ill or terminally ill, more than the relationship has been threatened. Not only are we facing the loss of someone we love—and when an ADHDer loves, it goes deep—our whole stability is threatened.”

So began an e-mail from my friend Tricia, written in response to my request for advice for James, a reader of this blog. He had written to ask me how to best help care for his ill partner without letting his ADHD symptoms thwart his best intentions.  I quickly responded with my best off-the-cuff advice, but then I turned to a real expert: Tricia.

James’ was a timely e-mail, because even though Tricia’s beloved husband had just passed away, she was already turning her thoughts to this important topic:  How to help prepare the adult with ADHD who suddenly becomes the caregiver to an ill partner, a charge that can involve immense organizational skills, dealing with physicians’s sometimes prickly egos, hospital rules, conflicting advice from specialists and, oh, all the things that the partner used to do, such as bill-paying and other logistics?  Not to mention dealing with personal grief reactions and a frightfully shortening window of time together. Read the rest of this entry »

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Happy 99th Birthday to My Mother, Rest in Peace

October 9, 2010 in Guest Essays | 14 comments

October 8 would have been my mother’s 99th birthday.  Healthy as she was in body, no doubt she still would be alive today had stroke dementia not taken her down a slow and painful downspiral over six  years to her death, in 2000, at age 89.  Please forgive this departure from regular ADHD Roller Coaster programming as I honor my beloved mother, whom I still miss every day.

In a sense,  though, she had much to do with my 10 years of advocacy around ADHD.  It is my mother’s  spirit that, in large part, enabled me to wade these sometimes treacherous waters in the pursuit of fairness, compassion, and honesty  for everyone affected by ADHD.  Moreover, it was in part thanks to a small financial legacy from her that I could spend time writing the book. So, if my work has helped you, my mother is partly responsible.

Three pieces follow: the eulogy I gave for her at her funeral August 18, 2000; my Editor’s Column that appeared in The San Diego Business Journal, in 1990 (if more people thought as she did back then, we might not have  met our current economic calamities); and my sister Elva’s eulogy and prayer of thanks for our mother, for whom she was named.

Eulogy for Elva Motroni Pera, by Gina Pera:

When people use the word “independent” to describe our mother (and they always have), they cannot possibly mean carefree or selfish. For decades, mother spent every almost waking hour expertly running both a household of nine and a full-scale business. Mother had less time to pursue her “independence” than anyone I have ever known. Read the rest of this entry »

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One Man’s Poetry: Newfound Clarity of ADHD

September 22, 2010 in Guest Essays | 9 comments

Hello Gina,

I have been diagnosed with ADHD 8 months ago—kinda tough to accept at 41. I’ve been under a doctor’s care and on medication, and it has really shown me a world I’ve never known. Shortly after taking medication, I was having an ongoing clarity and understanding of my past so I started writing, and next thing I knew I had written about 15  poems from the view of a person with ADHD. I really don’t know what to do with them so I thought I would see if maybe you could direct me.  This is all new to me. I’m still learning and figuring me out. Thanks, Rob.

Here is my suggestion to Rob: “Let’s publish a few here.” He agreed, and here they are. Enjoy.


Furious Dance

Critical thoughts are happening
Blood is rising
I’m hyperfocusing
My heart starts to race
I don’t have a chance Read the rest of this entry »

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“On With My Vent In All Its Offensive Glory”

August 28, 2010 in Denial about ADHD, Guest Essays | 33 comments

Salvador Dali's "Raphaelesque Head Exploding" (click to see larger image)

What does it feel like to have ADHD in a world that doesn’t always “meet you halfway” and can in fact feel devoid of empathy?

What does it feel like to never meet anyone’s expectations or to be constantly admonished for what you’ve done wrong but seldom praised for what you have worked so hard — five times as hard as most people — to do right?

This guest essay below (in the black type) from L. Friesen should give you an idea.

But first some background. For  many years, I’ve read the online “rants” from the partners of adults with ADHD.  A rant is a post wherein the writer releases long-simmering frustration. Typically, the most tortured rants come from those who are living with adults “in denial” — that is, those who cannot or will not see the adverse impact of their ADHD symptoms on everyone involved. Sometimes these adults with ADHD are so lost in their own symptoms they blame everyone else around them for their problems.  It is not a pretty picture.

Yet there exists a parallel phenomenon among adults with ADHD who must deal on a daily basis with people who are “in denial” about ADHD and the challenges they, these adults with ADHD, are up against. The denial sword cuts both ways.

Even though I do facilitate a face-to-face group for adults with ADHD (and receive many e-mails from readers of my book who themselves have ADHD), I’ve not been privy to rants from adults with ADHD (excluding those who flame me as being a Pharma Shill or other anti-psychiatry expletives). Perhaps the adults in our local group are simply polite or else their friends and loved ones are more enlightened about ADHD. I’m not sure, but I intend to ask at the next meeting.

Recently, I received this e-mail from L. Friesen, a woman who had read some of my posts on an ADHD discussion forum: Read the rest of this entry »

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SCT: A New Type of ADHD for Next DSM?

August 20, 2010 in ADHD Diagnosis Issues, Essays on ADHD, Guest Essays | 14 comments

Before my friend Jack was diagnosed with ADHD, he used to call himself “Sluggo the Wonder Boy.”  Highly educated, hard-working, and his heart set on big achievements, Jack still had problems around being, well, sluggish.

For example, when he sat in a chair, within five minutes he invariably slumped and slid  until his head was on the back of the chair and his legs were stretched out, eyes half-closed unless something thoroughly grabbed his attention. It was a miracle of physics that he didn’t slide right onto the floor. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was chronically sleep deprived, but he slept well and regularly.

Only after ADHD was diagnosed and he began taking stimulant medication did he start sitting in a more erect and alert manner.  Moreover, his pupils became fully visible. Finally, I could see that his eyes were a lovely shade of brown. Who knew?

Does Jack have a different type of ADHD?  A sluggish type? I can’t say. But I can offer you this guest column from Robert F. Eme, Ph.D., on the possibility of a new type of ADHD that focuses on something called Sluggish Cognitive Tempo. Read the rest of this entry »

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All About Medications for ADHD, Part II

May 28, 2010 in ADHD medication, Guest Essays, Practical Solutions, The Basics | 7 comments

Part I of “All About Medications for ADHD” focused on common questions and answers provided by ADHD specialist Ted Mandelkorn, MD, of Puget Sound Behavioral Health, a Seattle-based clinic that treats teens, children and adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and related conditions.

In Part II, below, Dr. Mandelkorn details the categories of medications along with dosing, pros, cons, and potential side effects.  The more you know about your choices, the better you can choose a knowledgeable prescribing physician and work with that physician for the best possible treatment outcome for yourself or your loved one.

A PHYSICIAN’S PERSPECTIVE

Theodore Mandelkorn, MD

2010

PART TWO: OVERVIEW OF MEDICATIONS Read the rest of this entry »

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All About Medications for ADHD, Part I

May 28, 2010 in ADHD medication, Guest Essays, Questions about Adult ADHD, The Basics | 1 comment

It’s hard to overstate it: Please be a smart mental healthcare consumer when it comes to ADHD medical treatment.

That means not simply assuming that your prescribing physician, no matter how much ADHD expertise is professed, truly knows what’s what.  Learn the basics so you can “Trust but Verify.”

Ted Mandelkorn, MD

For all the information flooding the Internet  now about Adult ADHD, it’s still hard to find a solid overview of the medications used to treat it. So, I contacted Ted Mandelkorn, M.D. (pictured right).  Had he updated the excellent handout from a lecture I’d attended years ago? Indeed he had. Even better: He gave me permission to share it with ADHD Roller Coaster readers.  The first installment is below. Part II will follow shortly.

An “early adapter” of ADHD expertise and treatment, Dr. Mandelkorn is the parent of a child with ADHD and has ADHD himself. He trained in pediatrics and adolescent medicine, and he was a mental health fellow under Dr. Michael Rothenberg at the University of Washington. He has been in practice for 35 years, since 2001 at his clinic, Puget Sound Behavioral Medicine.

A PHYSICIAN’S PERSPECTIVE

Theodore Mandelkorn, MD

2010

PART ONE

  • INTRODUCTION
  • WHO SHOULD TAKE MEDICATIONS, AND WHY?
  • WHAT IMPROVEMENT SHOULD BE SEEN?
  • WHO SHOULD PRESCRIBE MEDICATIONS?
  • MEDICAL TRIALS
  • WHAT IS THE CORRECT MEDICATION?
  • WHAT IS THE CORRECT DOSAGE?
  • WHAT ABOUT “NATURAL” THERAPIES?
  • SUMMARY

Read the rest of this entry »

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Making Progress, One Ex-Naysayer at a Time

November 1, 2009 in ADHD in the News, Denial about ADHD, Essays on ADHD, Guest Essays, The Basics | 1 comment

This week: A guest post from ADHD coach Cynthia Hammer, founder and former executive director of Seattle-based non-Cynthia Hammerprofit ADD Resources (click here to visit her blog, “Pinnacle Coaching”).

I’ve always enjoyed Cynthia’s personal essays (look for more to come), and we both appreciate the thoughtful perspectives of Judith Warner, who writes the “Domestic Disturbances” column for The New York Times.
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Do you ever get discouraged about all the bad and inaccurate press about ADHD? That it is a condition that doesn’t exist? That those of us who have ADHD are seeking the easy way out by taking medicine or that we parents give dangerous medicine to children for a made-up condition?

I just finished reading an article by Judith Warner, a columnist for The New York Times who planned to write a book on these kinds of topics, but she kept putting off writing the book—and she finally realized why. Read the rest of this entry »

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