My foray into the field of ADHD began by chance. In 1999, I picked up a library book about the brain. And what I read changed my life and my husband’s life. Funny enough, that book was Dr. Daniel Amen’s Change Your Brain, Change Your Life.
In that book, I read about something called Adult ADHD, and suddenly I had a clue why, as much as we loved each other, my then-fiancee and I were driving each other nuts! I showed the book to my husband, a neurogeneticist who, as luck would have it, could vouch for the authenticity of the material. “Doesn’t this sound like you as a kid?” I asked him. ” And, well, doesn’t it sound like you now?” He agreed. And off we went to navigate our mental healthcare maze. Meanwhile, I figured other “partners of” were in a similar position, so I started an online discussion group.
It’s not enough to say that I was stunned at the widespread ignorance about ADHD, including among professionals. Frankly, I was outraged. There is quite enough suffering in the world that cannot be prevented. The suffering that comes from unrecognized ADHD is not one of them. We have a strong knowledge base about ADHD. We have good treatment strategies. All we lack is more people willing to step into the 21st Century.
Deciding to put to use my background as a print journalist, I became a very persevering (nagging?) advocate for better awareness and evidence-based treatment standards—by lecturing, writing, and leading discussion groups in Silicon Valley and a 600-member Internet group for the partners of adults with ADHD internationally. Oh, and yes, you’ve probably seen my comments around the Internet. When you are an unpaid advocate for 10 years, you go to war with the army you have: my keyboard.
After a few years, the need became clear for a nuts-and-bolts guide to Adult ADHD, especially as it affects relationships. A guide not only to understanding Adult ADHD symptoms but also the “emotional baggage” that comes with late-diagnosis — baggage carried by both partners in the relationship. I also wanted to provide readers with a consumers guide to Adult ADHD treatment strategies — the particulars of therapy to seek (and avoid), the medication protocol that so few prescribing physicians seemed to know about (and perhaps that’s why so many people had unnecessary side effects), and, that big deal breaker: how to get through a loved one’s “denial.”
That’s why I wrote Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder (1201 Alarm Press, San Francisco). I am grateful to the many top experts who granted interviews, fact-checked chapters, and endorsed the book. It has won four national book awards and, last I checked, has 65 five-star reviews on Amazon. It’s a book I am thrilled to be able to hand to people who are struggling. (Because, after all, I couldn’t keep typing the same advice in our support group for another 10 years!)
You can purchase the book at:
- the book’s website, where it comes with free shipping and free PDF of the book — uploadable to some electronic readers and useful for printing out pertinent pages for a loved one, clinician, etc.
- Amazon.com, and Barnes & Noble.com
- Barnes & Noble stores. To locate a store near you, click here.
The book and my unpaid advocacy have been a giant labor of love for several years now, and is my greatest joy to have connected with so many thousands of people and played a small role in elevating their lives.
This blog will contain many excerpts, which I hope will be augmented by readers’ comments. So, please share with the public your experiences and support. They just could change someone’s life.
You can learn more about my journalistic credentials, awards, portfolio, etc. at my very outdated website: http://www.GinaPera.com
Thank you for your interest in Adult ADHD, and please try to keep an open mind if you are just beginning to learn about it. One fact is clear: ADHD is real, and it affects real people’s lives. Maybe even your own or that of someone you love.
Best wishes,
Gina Pera
Email Gina Pera
3 comments
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November 8, 2009 at 3:02 am
Donna Stanley
Hi Gina , as spouse and parent of ADHD son/husband I cannot put into words how important your book has become to me since I ordered it from Amazon I was desperate for some information/help/empathy for partners.
Here in Ireland the ignorance is worse than what you would find in USA
I am determined to find some funding to purchase as many copies of your book as I can and ‘spread the word’,I cannot be sure but in a country of over 1 million people, I would bet I am the only one who has a copy of this book and my mission is to change this for all the other people in the same situation and dont even know it.
Thank you for putting it together and I thank God I found it.
Regards
Donna
November 8, 2009 at 10:34 am
Gina Pera
Bless your heart, Donna, and thank you for writing. It means to much to me to know that you’ve found the book helpful. It’s been a rather mammoth undertaking, but to learn from people like you that I’ve achieved my goal –bringing others out of isolation and doing my bit to end the suffering that comes with ignorance — well, it’s hard to ask for more. THANK YOU.
When I spoke at the ADDISS ADHD conference in London last year, I met a few people from Ireland. Perhaps ADDISS could put you in touch with some local advocates. It seems that, as it was in the U.S. until a few years ago, the emphasis remains on children and not adults.
take care,
Gina
I haven’t checked with Andrea Bilbow (director of ADDISS) to see if they will hold another conference next year. If they do, it’s a marvelous opportunity to learn and to gain support from others who “get it.”
February 12, 2010 at 12:45 pm
Mari
Gina,
Can you help me? My son (12 yrs) has been diagnosed, by several doctors, with ADHD. This has been an obvious observation for me, but my son’s father (my EX-husband) insist that there is nothing wrong. He refuses to let my son take medication and this decision has caused a great deal of anxiety for everyone, including our son. The EX doesn’t have any problem taking him to biofeedback and telling my son he’s depressed, but he refuses to have him treated medically. I have to say, that I have no doubt that my EX is also ADHD and it was the main cause of our divorce.
How can I convince him to try medication for our child.
Please help!
A frustrated mother